Darinsamx - Cold Lyrics

I woke up in the middle of the night
My heart's pounding, my mind's racing
I heard some noises, but it was just a dream
A terrifying, never-leaving nightmare
I don't know why I'm blowing up tonight
Is this just another trick my brain's playing on me?
It's really hard not to hate yourself
When even close ones don't get that you're not okay
Tell me how to fix myself
Tell me how to be somebody else
Oh, give me something, something
To numb the pain I feel inside
And if this is how I'll always be
Then I don't want this
I don't wanna feel weak for the rest of my life
I wanna live for the rest of my life
Here I am again, up in the cold sweat
Second-guessing every single one of my decisions
And every mistake is on the screen of my mind
I hope to fall asleep, but don't think I can
Got up, looked in the mirror and I closed my eyes
This can't be the way I am, can't do anything about it
And I know I've felt this all before
But it doesn't get easier despite
Tell me how to fix myself (fix myself)
Tell me how to be somebody else (somebody else)
Oh, give me something, something
To numb the pain I feel inside
And if this is how I'll always be (how I'll always be)
Then I don't want this
I don't wanna feel weak for the rest of my life
I wanna live for the rest of my life!
Slowly getting past that stage of grief
That let me care for anything at all
And whenever I feel low
Seeing blood dripping reminds me that I'm still alive
And maybe it's a good thing I got sick
'Cause I finally look the way I wanted to
No longer ashamed of the reflection
Still feel the need to ignore the needs
I need to fix myself
I need to fix myself
I need to fix myself
I need to fix it all!