ROBBIE
I wrote a song six years ago
While playing in a wedding band
The word got out and suddenly
The band and I are in demand
And now couples all over Jersey
Hire me to insure their wedded bliss
All because of a tune I wrote
That tune
Goes like this:
Oh, when it's your wedding day
And my music starts to play
I can guarantee that
ALL
LOVE WILL FIND YOU!
ROBBIE
Yeah, when it's your wedding day
All the problems melt away
If you count on me
'Cause love is what I do
Now when we play a wedding gig
ROBBIE, SAMMY & GEORGE
We're like a finely tuned machine
ROBBIE
Sammy does Van Halen licks
While George gets down on tambourine
We might play you some careless whisper
SAMMY & GEORGE
Or make you wish you had
ALL
Jessie's Girl instead
SAMMY & GEORGE
Bring the room down with endless love
ROBBIE
The blast bang your head
ALL
BANG YOUR HEAD!
ROBBIE, SAMMY & GEORGE
So when it's your wedding day
And my music starts to play
I can guarantee that
ALL
LOVE WILL FIND YOU!
ROBBIE, SAMMY & GEORGE
So when it's your wedding day
All the problems melt away
If you count on me
'Cause love is what I do
ROBBIE
Long before the night is through
Your uncle will be my uncle, too
I'll be so tight with your cousin Steve
He'll invite me over for Christmas Eve
I'll dance your mom all around the room
The present the bride and groom
(Dance break.)
ROBBIE (Spoken)
Line dance, follow me!
ROBBIE & ENSEMBLE
So when it's your wedding day
And my music starts to play
Love will find you
Yeah, when it's your wedding day
All the problems melt away
ROBBIE
If you count on me
ALL
Cause love is what
ROBBIE
Yes, love is what I do
ENSEMBLE
DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO
DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO
DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO, DO
ALL
LOVE IS WHAT I DO!
Wedding Singer Musical Soundtrack Album Lyrics
Wedding Singer Musical Soundtrack Lyrics
- The Wedding Singer Cast - It's Your Wedding Day
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Someday
- The Wedding Singer Cast - A Note From Linda
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Pop!
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Somebody Kill Me
- The Wedding Singer Cast - A Note From Grandma
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Casualty of Love
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Come Out of the Dumpster
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Today You Are a Man
- The Wedding Singer Cast - George's Prayer
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Not That Kind of Thing
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Saturday Night in the City
- The Wedding Singer Cast - All About the Green
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Someday (Reprise)
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Right in Front of Your Eyes
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Single
- The Wedding Singer Cast - If I Told You
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Let Me Come Home
- The Wedding Singer Cast - If I Told You (Reprise)
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Move That Thing
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Grow Old With You
- The Wedding Singer Cast - It's Your Wedding Day (Finale)
- The Wedding Singer Cast - Prime Rib or Fish
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Someday
by The Wedding Singer Cast
(Spoken)
JULIA
Did you see the bride?
She looks so perfect.
HOLLY
I know. Don't you hate her?
JULIA
Hate her?
She's so happy!
(Sung)
She turns around
And she meets his gaze
The lights are dim,
There's a smoky haze
They share a smile
And a secret wave
It's a moment built to save
They start to move
Across the floor
The room is frozen,
Wanting more
The happy couple on display
With nothing standing
In their way
It's so romantic I could die
Right here and now
It's gonna be that way for us
I know somehow
Someday when it's me
I'll know our love
Was meant to be
Not one single complication
Or cause for hesitation
Someday when the dream
Is coming true
All you'll need is me
And all I'll need is you
(Spoken)
HOLLY
Julia, take that veil off!
JULIA
Okay!
(Sung)
They stop and pose
For a photograph
He jokes aorund
Just to make her laugh
The room is full,
But they're all alone
They have a language
All their own
And I'm so jealous I could cry
And yet I know
It won't be long
Before you say
We're good to go
Someday when it's me
I'll know our love
Was meant to be
Not one single complication
Or cause for hesitation
Someday when the dream
Is coming true
All you'll need is me
And all I'll need is you
I know not every marriage
Lasts when things go bad
I've seen the warning signs
I call them "Mom" and "Dad"
But soon you'll take my hand
And pledge your love to me
Till then I'll just get married vicariously
JULIA & WOMEN
Someday when it's me
I'll know our love
Was meant to be
JULIA
Not one single complication
Or cause for hesitation
Someday when the dream
Is coming true
WOMEN
Is coming true
JULIA
All you'll need is me
WOMEN
All you'll need is me
JULIA & WOMEN
And all I'll need is you!
JULIA
Did you see the bride?
She looks so perfect.
HOLLY
I know. Don't you hate her?
JULIA
Hate her?
She's so happy!
(Sung)
She turns around
And she meets his gaze
The lights are dim,
There's a smoky haze
They share a smile
And a secret wave
It's a moment built to save
They start to move
Across the floor
The room is frozen,
Wanting more
The happy couple on display
With nothing standing
In their way
It's so romantic I could die
Right here and now
It's gonna be that way for us
I know somehow
Someday when it's me
I'll know our love
Was meant to be
Not one single complication
Or cause for hesitation
Someday when the dream
Is coming true
All you'll need is me
And all I'll need is you
(Spoken)
HOLLY
Julia, take that veil off!
JULIA
Okay!
(Sung)
They stop and pose
For a photograph
He jokes aorund
Just to make her laugh
The room is full,
But they're all alone
They have a language
All their own
And I'm so jealous I could cry
And yet I know
It won't be long
Before you say
We're good to go
Someday when it's me
I'll know our love
Was meant to be
Not one single complication
Or cause for hesitation
Someday when the dream
Is coming true
All you'll need is me
And all I'll need is you
I know not every marriage
Lasts when things go bad
I've seen the warning signs
I call them "Mom" and "Dad"
But soon you'll take my hand
And pledge your love to me
Till then I'll just get married vicariously
JULIA & WOMEN
Someday when it's me
I'll know our love
Was meant to be
JULIA
Not one single complication
Or cause for hesitation
Someday when the dream
Is coming true
WOMEN
Is coming true
JULIA
All you'll need is me
WOMEN
All you'll need is me
JULIA & WOMEN
And all I'll need is you!
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
A Note From Linda
by The Wedding Singer Cast
Linda:
To my dearest Robbie,
I think we need some space.
Please excuse my timing
Dot-dot-dot, smiley face.
You see, I woke this morning,
Prepared to walk on air.
But realized that you cramped my style,
As I crimped my hair.
You're just not that same person,
The guy I used to know.
I'm not in love with "Robbie Now"
But "Robbie Seven Years Ago"
You could have been in Motely Crue
Or David Lee Roth's replacement.
But instead you sing while people chew.
And you live in your grandma's basement!
I hope this note is something
That you can rise above.
Deep down you weren't in love with me,
You were just in love with love.
And so it's best we end this
Before we even start.
Signed your pal Linda.
The "i" is dotted with a broken heart.
To my dearest Robbie,
I think we need some space.
Please excuse my timing
Dot-dot-dot, smiley face.
You see, I woke this morning,
Prepared to walk on air.
But realized that you cramped my style,
As I crimped my hair.
You're just not that same person,
The guy I used to know.
I'm not in love with "Robbie Now"
But "Robbie Seven Years Ago"
You could have been in Motely Crue
Or David Lee Roth's replacement.
But instead you sing while people chew.
And you live in your grandma's basement!
I hope this note is something
That you can rise above.
Deep down you weren't in love with me,
You were just in love with love.
And so it's best we end this
Before we even start.
Signed your pal Linda.
The "i" is dotted with a broken heart.
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Pop!
by The Wedding Singer Cast
Holly:
EVERY FIVE SECONDS
A GIRL GETS ENGAGED
ACCORDING TO COSMO'S
LATEST QUIZ.
SO EVERY FIVE SECONDS
YOU GET ONE MORE CHANCE
TO MAKE HIM GET DOWN
ON THE KNEES OF HIS.
IT'S A CHALLENGE THAT
EVERY WOMAN FACES
SO LET'S MAKE SURE THAT
WE'VE COVERED OUR BASES
Angie:
YOU'VE LIVED OFF TAB AND
LEAN CUISINE
Holly:
CONCEALED YOUR FLAWS
WITH MAYBELLINE
Holly & Angie:
YOU'RE MINTY FRESH AND
ZETFULLY CLEAN!
Holly:
SO HE'S GONNA POP
Angie:
POP!
Holly:
THE QUESTION
HE'S GONNA POP
Women:
POP! POP!
Holly & Women:
THE QUESTION
SO THERE'S NO REASON TO STOP
AND QUESTION HIS LOVE
OH, POP THE QUESTION
Angie:
Oh my god! She like Cinderella.
Holly:
And I'm like her fairy godmother, only slutty.
Julia:
EVERY FIVE SECONDS
I SAY TO MYSELF
THAT GLEN AND I ARE BOUND
TO TIE THE KNOT
BUT EVERY FIVE SECONDS
I CAN'T HELP BUT ASK
IS SOMEONE A CATCH
IF THEY CAN'T BE CAUGHT?
COULD IT BE THE GUY
HAS JUST OUTGROWN ME
NO MATTER HOW YOU PRIMP ME
OR OVER-COLOGNE ME
AND JILTED GIRLS
HAVE LOUSY STATS
I'LL DIE ALONE IN SOCK
AND FLATS
THE LADY WITH THE FIFTY CATS!
Holly & Angie:
NO!
Holly & Women:
HE'S GONNA POP
Julie:
HE'LL NEVER POP
Holly & Women:
HE'S GONNA POP
Julia:
HE'LL NEVER
All:
POP THE QUESTION
Holly & Women:
SO THERE'S NO REASON TO STOP
AND QUESTION HIS LOVE
QUESTION HIS LOVE
QUESTION HIS LOVE
Angie & Holly:
OH, POP THE QUESTION!
Holly:
You're gonna be fine. Just breathe.
Glen:
Hey, baby. You look hot. Let's eat.
Julia:
THE REASON WHY HE
CHOSE THIS PLACE
IS NOW SO CRYSTAL CLEAR
LIKE OUT RELATIONSHIP
WE'RE GOING ROUND
IN CIRCLES HERE
AND WHERE HE'S SITTING,
IT'S AS IF IT ALL
REVOLVES AROUND HIM.
Glen:
Everybody having champagne, you don't want any do you?
Julia:
I'm cool.
IF ONE MORE COUPLE
GETS ENGAGED
OR I HEAR ON MORE CORK
IT'S HARI KARI WITH FANCY
LITTLE SALAD FORK
HE NIXED THE BUBBLY WHICH
CAN ONLY MEAN
THE OUTLOOK IS GRIM.
All right, Glen, I know why we're here . . .
Glen:
You do?
Julia:
This is the end, right?
Glen:
The end of what?
Julia:
You know - "the end." The end of you and me as boyfriend and girlfriend.
Glen:
Actually, yeah, it is . . . (opens a ring box)
Cause, baby, I want us to be husband and wife.
Ensemble:
HE TOTALLY
POPPED
THE QUESTION
TOTALLY POPPED
THE QUESTION
SO THERE'S NOT REASON TO STOP
AND QUESTION HIS LOVE
QUESTION HIS LOVE
QUESTION HIS LOVE
Glen:
What do you say?
Julia:
Yes!
All:
HIS LOVE!!
EVERY FIVE SECONDS
A GIRL GETS ENGAGED
ACCORDING TO COSMO'S
LATEST QUIZ.
SO EVERY FIVE SECONDS
YOU GET ONE MORE CHANCE
TO MAKE HIM GET DOWN
ON THE KNEES OF HIS.
IT'S A CHALLENGE THAT
EVERY WOMAN FACES
SO LET'S MAKE SURE THAT
WE'VE COVERED OUR BASES
Angie:
YOU'VE LIVED OFF TAB AND
LEAN CUISINE
Holly:
CONCEALED YOUR FLAWS
WITH MAYBELLINE
Holly & Angie:
YOU'RE MINTY FRESH AND
ZETFULLY CLEAN!
Holly:
SO HE'S GONNA POP
Angie:
POP!
Holly:
THE QUESTION
HE'S GONNA POP
Women:
POP! POP!
Holly & Women:
THE QUESTION
SO THERE'S NO REASON TO STOP
AND QUESTION HIS LOVE
OH, POP THE QUESTION
Angie:
Oh my god! She like Cinderella.
Holly:
And I'm like her fairy godmother, only slutty.
Julia:
EVERY FIVE SECONDS
I SAY TO MYSELF
THAT GLEN AND I ARE BOUND
TO TIE THE KNOT
BUT EVERY FIVE SECONDS
I CAN'T HELP BUT ASK
IS SOMEONE A CATCH
IF THEY CAN'T BE CAUGHT?
COULD IT BE THE GUY
HAS JUST OUTGROWN ME
NO MATTER HOW YOU PRIMP ME
OR OVER-COLOGNE ME
AND JILTED GIRLS
HAVE LOUSY STATS
I'LL DIE ALONE IN SOCK
AND FLATS
THE LADY WITH THE FIFTY CATS!
Holly & Angie:
NO!
Holly & Women:
HE'S GONNA POP
Julie:
HE'LL NEVER POP
Holly & Women:
HE'S GONNA POP
Julia:
HE'LL NEVER
All:
POP THE QUESTION
Holly & Women:
SO THERE'S NO REASON TO STOP
AND QUESTION HIS LOVE
QUESTION HIS LOVE
QUESTION HIS LOVE
Angie & Holly:
OH, POP THE QUESTION!
Holly:
You're gonna be fine. Just breathe.
Glen:
Hey, baby. You look hot. Let's eat.
Julia:
THE REASON WHY HE
CHOSE THIS PLACE
IS NOW SO CRYSTAL CLEAR
LIKE OUT RELATIONSHIP
WE'RE GOING ROUND
IN CIRCLES HERE
AND WHERE HE'S SITTING,
IT'S AS IF IT ALL
REVOLVES AROUND HIM.
Glen:
Everybody having champagne, you don't want any do you?
Julia:
I'm cool.
IF ONE MORE COUPLE
GETS ENGAGED
OR I HEAR ON MORE CORK
IT'S HARI KARI WITH FANCY
LITTLE SALAD FORK
HE NIXED THE BUBBLY WHICH
CAN ONLY MEAN
THE OUTLOOK IS GRIM.
All right, Glen, I know why we're here . . .
Glen:
You do?
Julia:
This is the end, right?
Glen:
The end of what?
Julia:
You know - "the end." The end of you and me as boyfriend and girlfriend.
Glen:
Actually, yeah, it is . . . (opens a ring box)
Cause, baby, I want us to be husband and wife.
Ensemble:
HE TOTALLY
POPPED
THE QUESTION
TOTALLY POPPED
THE QUESTION
SO THERE'S NOT REASON TO STOP
AND QUESTION HIS LOVE
QUESTION HIS LOVE
QUESTION HIS LOVE
Glen:
What do you say?
Julia:
Yes!
All:
HIS LOVE!!
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Somebody Kill Me
by The Wedding Singer Cast
ROBBIE
You don't know how much I need you
While you're near me I don't feel blue
And when we kiss I know you reed me, too
I can't believe I found a love that's so pure and true
But it all was bullshit
It was a goddamn joke
And when I think of you Linda
I hope you f*cking choke
I hope you're glad with what you've done to me
I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy
You left me here all alone tears running constantly
Oh, somebody kill me please
Somebody kill me please
I'm on my knees
Pretty, pretty please kill me
I want to die
Put a bullet to my head
You don't know how much I need you
While you're near me I don't feel blue
And when we kiss I know you reed me, too
I can't believe I found a love that's so pure and true
But it all was bullshit
It was a goddamn joke
And when I think of you Linda
I hope you f*cking choke
I hope you're glad with what you've done to me
I lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy
You left me here all alone tears running constantly
Oh, somebody kill me please
Somebody kill me please
I'm on my knees
Pretty, pretty please kill me
I want to die
Put a bullet to my head
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
A Note From Grandma
by The Wedding Singer Cast
LINDA
To my dearest Robbie
I think we need some space
Please forgive my timing
Dot dot dot, smiley face
I woke up this morning
Prepared to walk on air
Then realized that you've cramped my style
As I cramped my hair
You're just not that same person
They guy I used to know
I'm not in love with Robbie now
But Robbie seven years ago
You should have been in Motley Crew
Or David Lee Roth's replacement
But instead you sing while people chew
And you live in your grandma's basement
I hope this note is something
That you can rise above
Deep down you weren't in love with me
You were just in love with love
And so it's best we end this
Before we even start
Signed, your pal
Linda
The "i" is dotted
With a broken heart
To my dearest Robbie
I think we need some space
Please forgive my timing
Dot dot dot, smiley face
I woke up this morning
Prepared to walk on air
Then realized that you've cramped my style
As I cramped my hair
You're just not that same person
They guy I used to know
I'm not in love with Robbie now
But Robbie seven years ago
You should have been in Motley Crew
Or David Lee Roth's replacement
But instead you sing while people chew
And you live in your grandma's basement
I hope this note is something
That you can rise above
Deep down you weren't in love with me
You were just in love with love
And so it's best we end this
Before we even start
Signed, your pal
Linda
The "i" is dotted
With a broken heart
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Casualty of Love
by The Wedding Singer Cast
ROBBIE
I thought I had the kind of love
You find in fairy tales
But then my girl ripped out my heart
With her plastic press-on nails
So if you know the kind of pain
This looser's singin' of
Well, let me hear you say it
I'm a casualty of love
Just a casualty of love
SIDEBURNS GIRL
I'm a casulaty of love!
ROBBIE
Tell me about it!
SIDEBURNS GIRL
I put a top hat on my cat, and I asked him to the prom
NERD
I was stood up by my date, and by date I mean my mom
FAT LADY
Each night I open up my mouth and give those twinkies a shove
ROBBIE
Well I know why you do it
You're a casualty of love
LOOSERS
I'm a casualty of love
ROBBIE
Just a casualty of love
LOOSERS
A casualty of
ALL
Love
ROBBIE
We're from different walks of life
And different points of view
But we come together now
ALL
Through our hatred of you!
Cause we're casualties of love
ROBBIE
Love's a trick, love's a trap
Love's a hot chick with the clap
Love's a hoax, love's a tease
A pinata full of bees
Love's a joke, love's a scam
A Sargent Slaughter body slam
Love's a wound, watch it bleed
Love's the only thing I...
You'll end up just like us
Cause, trust me, love always ends
You'll be fat, divorced, and broke
While she has sex with all of your friends
ROBBIE and LOOSERS
You'll be casualties of love
Love's a trick, love's a trap
Love's a hot chick with the clap
Love's a wound, watch it bleed
Love's the only thing I need
I need
ROBBIE
No one's ever gonna love
A casualty of love
I thought I had the kind of love
You find in fairy tales
But then my girl ripped out my heart
With her plastic press-on nails
So if you know the kind of pain
This looser's singin' of
Well, let me hear you say it
I'm a casualty of love
Just a casualty of love
SIDEBURNS GIRL
I'm a casulaty of love!
ROBBIE
Tell me about it!
SIDEBURNS GIRL
I put a top hat on my cat, and I asked him to the prom
NERD
I was stood up by my date, and by date I mean my mom
FAT LADY
Each night I open up my mouth and give those twinkies a shove
ROBBIE
Well I know why you do it
You're a casualty of love
LOOSERS
I'm a casualty of love
ROBBIE
Just a casualty of love
LOOSERS
A casualty of
ALL
Love
ROBBIE
We're from different walks of life
And different points of view
But we come together now
ALL
Through our hatred of you!
Cause we're casualties of love
ROBBIE
Love's a trick, love's a trap
Love's a hot chick with the clap
Love's a hoax, love's a tease
A pinata full of bees
Love's a joke, love's a scam
A Sargent Slaughter body slam
Love's a wound, watch it bleed
Love's the only thing I...
You'll end up just like us
Cause, trust me, love always ends
You'll be fat, divorced, and broke
While she has sex with all of your friends
ROBBIE and LOOSERS
You'll be casualties of love
Love's a trick, love's a trap
Love's a hot chick with the clap
Love's a wound, watch it bleed
Love's the only thing I need
I need
ROBBIE
No one's ever gonna love
A casualty of love
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Come Out of the Dumpster
by The Wedding Singer Cast
JULIA
So tonight you made some mistakes
I admit it, you hit a few bumps
But I hate to see you like this
Down on your luck, down in the dumps
Though hope may seem in short supply
You have to move on
You have to try
So come out of the dumpster
Don't leave me standing here
Come out of the dumpster
Its ok; the coast is clear
The cop cars are leaving
Channel 5 packed up its crew
So come out of the dumpster
I'll be right here waiting for you
ROBBIE (spoken)
Ok. I'll try
JULIA (spoken)
All right!
(robbie trys to climb out of the dumpster, but falls back in)
JULIA (sung)
So you're back in the dumpster
Well, thats like a metaphor
Everyone has a dumpster
A stumbling block you can't ignore
But to fight it makes you stronger
And someday you might stand!
So come out of that dumpster
Here, take a hold of my hand
So your first day back wasn't all you anticipated
ROBBIE (sung)
I bit the best man
The bride had to be sedated
JULIA
But this sort of thing happens all the time
When life gives you garbage
You it to climb!
(Robbie climbs out)
Look!
You're out of the dumpster
Now, was that so hard after all?
It was only a dumpster
ROBBIE
And from here, it looks so small
JULIA
Now you're back where you started
On you're way to success
So...
Will you play at my wedding?
ROBBIE
No!
So tonight you made some mistakes
I admit it, you hit a few bumps
But I hate to see you like this
Down on your luck, down in the dumps
Though hope may seem in short supply
You have to move on
You have to try
So come out of the dumpster
Don't leave me standing here
Come out of the dumpster
Its ok; the coast is clear
The cop cars are leaving
Channel 5 packed up its crew
So come out of the dumpster
I'll be right here waiting for you
ROBBIE (spoken)
Ok. I'll try
JULIA (spoken)
All right!
(robbie trys to climb out of the dumpster, but falls back in)
JULIA (sung)
So you're back in the dumpster
Well, thats like a metaphor
Everyone has a dumpster
A stumbling block you can't ignore
But to fight it makes you stronger
And someday you might stand!
So come out of that dumpster
Here, take a hold of my hand
So your first day back wasn't all you anticipated
ROBBIE (sung)
I bit the best man
The bride had to be sedated
JULIA
But this sort of thing happens all the time
When life gives you garbage
You it to climb!
(Robbie climbs out)
Look!
You're out of the dumpster
Now, was that so hard after all?
It was only a dumpster
ROBBIE
And from here, it looks so small
JULIA
Now you're back where you started
On you're way to success
So...
Will you play at my wedding?
ROBBIE
No!
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Today You Are a Man
by The Wedding Singer Cast
ROBBIE:
THERE'S A GIFT FROM EVERY GUEST
ROBBIE & BAND:
TODAY YOU ARE A MAN
ROBBIE:
THE COCKTAIL FRANKS HAVE ALL BEEN BLESSED
ROBBIE & BAND:
TODAY YOU ARE A MAN
ROBBIE:
YOUR GOYIM FRIENDS HAVE BEEN AGOG
SINCE THEY LEFT THE SYNAGOGUE
DRUNK ON SCHNAPPS AND IN A FOG
AND SPEAKING HEBREW BEST THEY CAN
SAMMY:
(Attempting Hebrew.)
LaChaim!
ROBBIE & BAND:
CAUSE YOU ARE A MAN!
ROBBIE:
THERE'S A WAITRESS DRESSED UP LIKE A GO-GO
GEORGE:
BUT REMEMBER SHIKSAS ARE A NO-NO
ROBBIE:
GO SHAKE HANDS WITH EACH TOM, DICK AND HERSCHEL
SAMMY:
THEY'LL BE SHVITZING
AND WHAT'S EVEN WORSE YOU'LL
ROBBIE & BAND:
HAVE TO KISS YOUR AUNTS
AND WATCH YOUR ZAYDE DANCE
BUT REMEMBER THIS
IT COULD BE TEN TIMES WORSE
AT LEAST IT'S NOT YOUR BRISS
YOUR BRISS
TODAY YOU ARE A
ROBBIE:
BOY-BOY-BOY
BOY-BOY-BOY
BOY-BOY-BOY
GEORGE & SAMMY:
Boy?
ROBBIE:
No!
ALL 3:
A MAN!
Ole!
THERE'S A GIFT FROM EVERY GUEST
ROBBIE & BAND:
TODAY YOU ARE A MAN
ROBBIE:
THE COCKTAIL FRANKS HAVE ALL BEEN BLESSED
ROBBIE & BAND:
TODAY YOU ARE A MAN
ROBBIE:
YOUR GOYIM FRIENDS HAVE BEEN AGOG
SINCE THEY LEFT THE SYNAGOGUE
DRUNK ON SCHNAPPS AND IN A FOG
AND SPEAKING HEBREW BEST THEY CAN
SAMMY:
(Attempting Hebrew.)
LaChaim!
ROBBIE & BAND:
CAUSE YOU ARE A MAN!
ROBBIE:
THERE'S A WAITRESS DRESSED UP LIKE A GO-GO
GEORGE:
BUT REMEMBER SHIKSAS ARE A NO-NO
ROBBIE:
GO SHAKE HANDS WITH EACH TOM, DICK AND HERSCHEL
SAMMY:
THEY'LL BE SHVITZING
AND WHAT'S EVEN WORSE YOU'LL
ROBBIE & BAND:
HAVE TO KISS YOUR AUNTS
AND WATCH YOUR ZAYDE DANCE
BUT REMEMBER THIS
IT COULD BE TEN TIMES WORSE
AT LEAST IT'S NOT YOUR BRISS
YOUR BRISS
TODAY YOU ARE A
ROBBIE:
BOY-BOY-BOY
BOY-BOY-BOY
BOY-BOY-BOY
GEORGE & SAMMY:
Boy?
ROBBIE:
No!
ALL 3:
A MAN!
Ole!
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
George's Prayer
by The Wedding Singer Cast
George:
Oh, oo hoo,
Baruch atah
Adonai eloheinu
Melech ha'olam.
Oh, shehecheyanu
V'kiy'manu
V'higyanu
Lazman hazeh.
Amen, amen.
Oh Shapiro family.
I said Amen.
Oo hoo, Amen.
Oh, oo hoo,
Baruch atah
Adonai eloheinu
Melech ha'olam.
Oh, shehecheyanu
V'kiy'manu
V'higyanu
Lazman hazeh.
Amen, amen.
Oh Shapiro family.
I said Amen.
Oo hoo, Amen.
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Not That Kind of Thing
by The Wedding Singer Cast
Clerk [Spoken]:
Now, kids, couples always argue when they come here to register.
My advice is, be very careful..
Clerk:
It's a situation
First fight.
I've seen couples face disaster.
Why not tell yourselves
You're both wrong,
Both right.
It means that you'll make up faster.
Robbie:
I hate to tell you but we're not with each other.
We're sister and brother.
Julia:
And he's the slow one.
Robbie:
She's an idiot according to mother.
Julia:
It takes one to know one.
Robbie & Julia:
Tell the night
To save it's moonlight.
Tell the birds
Not to sing.
Tell the stars
In the heavens they've been misaligned.
'Cause it's not that kind of thing.
Crystal [Spoken]:
Look, a sale on towels!
Hold my purse for me.
Mookie [Spoken]:
Baby, please. No.
Crystal [Spoken]:
I said hold it!
(Crystal holds out her purse. Mookie takes it sheepishly.)
(Julia holds out her purse.)
Julia [Spoken]:
Um, Robbie? Hold my purse?
Robbie [Spoken]:
No.
Julia [Spoken]:
I said hold it!
Crystal:
You get stuck with them for better,
Julia:
Or worse.
Julia & Crystal:
No matter which way you stack it.
Robbie & Mookie:
It's emasculating holding a purse.
Robbie:
And it doesn't match my jacket.
Your evil scheme has worked out just as you planned it,
I now understand it.
Julia:
I shop, you carry.
Robbie:
I do the work and you make out like a bandit.
Julia:
It's true.
Robbie [Spoken]:
No. It's scary.
Julia [Spoken]:
No. You're scary!
Robbie [Spoken]:
You're scary!
Robbie & Julia & Ensemble:
Tell the night
To save it's moonlight.
Tell the birds
Not to sing.
Tell the stars in the heavens they've been misaligned.
'Cause it's not that kind of thing.
Robbie:
True, there are times
When her eyes meet mine and linger there.
Maybe a bit too long.
Julia:
And I wonder,
Is there something hidden in his stare.
Robbie & Julia:
No, I couldn't be more wrong.
All:
Tell the night
To save it's moonlight.
Tell the birds
Not to sing.
Tell the stars in the heavens they've been misaligned.
'Cause it's not that kind.
No it's not that kind.
No it's not that kind of thing.
Julia [Spoken]:
Oh my God, Robbie.
That's the dress. That's the dress I was meant to get married in!
You think I'll look all right?
Robbie [Spoken]:
You'll look beautiful.
Now, kids, couples always argue when they come here to register.
My advice is, be very careful..
Clerk:
It's a situation
First fight.
I've seen couples face disaster.
Why not tell yourselves
You're both wrong,
Both right.
It means that you'll make up faster.
Robbie:
I hate to tell you but we're not with each other.
We're sister and brother.
Julia:
And he's the slow one.
Robbie:
She's an idiot according to mother.
Julia:
It takes one to know one.
Robbie & Julia:
Tell the night
To save it's moonlight.
Tell the birds
Not to sing.
Tell the stars
In the heavens they've been misaligned.
'Cause it's not that kind of thing.
Crystal [Spoken]:
Look, a sale on towels!
Hold my purse for me.
Mookie [Spoken]:
Baby, please. No.
Crystal [Spoken]:
I said hold it!
(Crystal holds out her purse. Mookie takes it sheepishly.)
(Julia holds out her purse.)
Julia [Spoken]:
Um, Robbie? Hold my purse?
Robbie [Spoken]:
No.
Julia [Spoken]:
I said hold it!
Crystal:
You get stuck with them for better,
Julia:
Or worse.
Julia & Crystal:
No matter which way you stack it.
Robbie & Mookie:
It's emasculating holding a purse.
Robbie:
And it doesn't match my jacket.
Your evil scheme has worked out just as you planned it,
I now understand it.
Julia:
I shop, you carry.
Robbie:
I do the work and you make out like a bandit.
Julia:
It's true.
Robbie [Spoken]:
No. It's scary.
Julia [Spoken]:
No. You're scary!
Robbie [Spoken]:
You're scary!
Robbie & Julia & Ensemble:
Tell the night
To save it's moonlight.
Tell the birds
Not to sing.
Tell the stars in the heavens they've been misaligned.
'Cause it's not that kind of thing.
Robbie:
True, there are times
When her eyes meet mine and linger there.
Maybe a bit too long.
Julia:
And I wonder,
Is there something hidden in his stare.
Robbie & Julia:
No, I couldn't be more wrong.
All:
Tell the night
To save it's moonlight.
Tell the birds
Not to sing.
Tell the stars in the heavens they've been misaligned.
'Cause it's not that kind.
No it's not that kind.
No it's not that kind of thing.
Julia [Spoken]:
Oh my God, Robbie.
That's the dress. That's the dress I was meant to get married in!
You think I'll look all right?
Robbie [Spoken]:
You'll look beautiful.
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Saturday Night in the City
by The Wedding Singer Cast
HOLLY
When the weekend rolls around I hound the hottest spots
My favorite club'll
Always double
All my vodka shots
Got my skin tight bustier and plastic crucifix
Tonight we're gonna party like its 1986!
Cause it's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
ALL
It's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
HOLLY
One you're past the velvet ropes your wildest dreams come true
JULIA
The dance floor smoke
GLEN
A bump of coke
GEORGE
And everything taboo
ROBBIE
I got a pair a'parachute pants that grandma got me to wear
SAMMY
Can't wait till chicks start flocking to my flock of seagulls hair
ALL
New york is reserved for the rich proud
But here comes the bridge and tunnel crowd
ALL
And it's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
It's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
GUYS
Out on the prowl
GIRLS
And dressed impress
ALL
Hoping sunday morning you'll have sins to confess
Goths, punks, and posers
And yuppie snobs galore
Everybody's equal when they're thrashing on the floor
Cause it's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
It's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
GLEN
Look at the wedding singer go! Holly is gonna rock his world tonight!
JULIA
Wow, she's kinda into him.
GLEN
Anything wrong, baby?
JULIA
Why would anything be wrong? Let's get drunk!
ALL
Whoa, whoa
Saturday night in the city
JULIA
Hey, Glen and I got engaged!
ROBBIE
Yeah, you told us that.
(To Glen) Is she okay?
She seems a little tipsy...
JULIA
I'm not tipsy!
(Loud whisper to Glen)
I'm hammered!
GLEN
Okay, baby, time to go home.
(Glen helps steer Julia off)
ROBBIE
Maybe I should go help Glen.
HOLLY
Forget him! Forget everybody!
Check out the view
You'll like what you see
My body's an amusement park, the first ride's on me
Don't stop to question
If you're gonna score
Being young and stupid is what saturday is for
ALL
It's what saturday is for!
And it's saturday night night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
It's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
(Holly kisses Robbie)
HOLLY
That wasn't anything like that kiss you gave Julia.
ROBBIE
Holly...
HOLLY
I can't believe I never noticed it.
ROBBIE
What?
HOLLY
You have a thing for Julia.
ROBBIE
No, I don't.
HOLLY
(Gently) Robbie. She's marrying Glen.
(Glen and Julia appear outside the club.)
GLEN
I told you some air would make you feel better.
JULIA
You are, like, so awesome. And your hair is... so hard.
GLEN
Uh-huh. The valet's pulling the car around. We'll get you home and in bed.
(The DeLorean appears. Julia and Glen drive off.)
ROBBIE
Tell the night to save it's moonlight
Tell the birds not to sing
Tell yourself that you must have been out of your mind
Cause it's night that kind
No it's not that kind of thing
HOLLY
Saturday night in the city
(Holly pulls a chain and is doused with water, a la "Flashdance".)
ALL
Saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
It's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city!
When the weekend rolls around I hound the hottest spots
My favorite club'll
Always double
All my vodka shots
Got my skin tight bustier and plastic crucifix
Tonight we're gonna party like its 1986!
Cause it's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
ALL
It's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
HOLLY
One you're past the velvet ropes your wildest dreams come true
JULIA
The dance floor smoke
GLEN
A bump of coke
GEORGE
And everything taboo
ROBBIE
I got a pair a'parachute pants that grandma got me to wear
SAMMY
Can't wait till chicks start flocking to my flock of seagulls hair
ALL
New york is reserved for the rich proud
But here comes the bridge and tunnel crowd
ALL
And it's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
It's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
GUYS
Out on the prowl
GIRLS
And dressed impress
ALL
Hoping sunday morning you'll have sins to confess
Goths, punks, and posers
And yuppie snobs galore
Everybody's equal when they're thrashing on the floor
Cause it's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
It's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
GLEN
Look at the wedding singer go! Holly is gonna rock his world tonight!
JULIA
Wow, she's kinda into him.
GLEN
Anything wrong, baby?
JULIA
Why would anything be wrong? Let's get drunk!
ALL
Whoa, whoa
Saturday night in the city
JULIA
Hey, Glen and I got engaged!
ROBBIE
Yeah, you told us that.
(To Glen) Is she okay?
She seems a little tipsy...
JULIA
I'm not tipsy!
(Loud whisper to Glen)
I'm hammered!
GLEN
Okay, baby, time to go home.
(Glen helps steer Julia off)
ROBBIE
Maybe I should go help Glen.
HOLLY
Forget him! Forget everybody!
Check out the view
You'll like what you see
My body's an amusement park, the first ride's on me
Don't stop to question
If you're gonna score
Being young and stupid is what saturday is for
ALL
It's what saturday is for!
And it's saturday night night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
It's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
(Holly kisses Robbie)
HOLLY
That wasn't anything like that kiss you gave Julia.
ROBBIE
Holly...
HOLLY
I can't believe I never noticed it.
ROBBIE
What?
HOLLY
You have a thing for Julia.
ROBBIE
No, I don't.
HOLLY
(Gently) Robbie. She's marrying Glen.
(Glen and Julia appear outside the club.)
GLEN
I told you some air would make you feel better.
JULIA
You are, like, so awesome. And your hair is... so hard.
GLEN
Uh-huh. The valet's pulling the car around. We'll get you home and in bed.
(The DeLorean appears. Julia and Glen drive off.)
ROBBIE
Tell the night to save it's moonlight
Tell the birds not to sing
Tell yourself that you must have been out of your mind
Cause it's night that kind
No it's not that kind of thing
HOLLY
Saturday night in the city
(Holly pulls a chain and is doused with water, a la "Flashdance".)
ALL
Saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city
It's saturday night
Saturday night
Saturday night in the city!
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
All About the Green
by The Wedding Singer Cast
Glen:
There's a big shiny future
You've been dying to buy
Better start power lunching
In your power tie
You can't wait for fate
To somehow intervene
If you wanna be somebody
It's all about the green
Robbie (spoken):
I'm sure it's a little more complicated...
Glen (sung):
It's all about the green
Some may say you're headed
Down a crooked trail
But if you sell your soul,
At least you've made a sale
You could end world hunger
Or create a vaccine
But if you wanna be somebody
It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the
Big bucks
Fat checks
Midnight flights
To LAX
Glen & 1st Suit:
Slush funds
High fives
Glen, 1st & 2nd Suit:
Trading stocks
And trading wives
Glen, 1st, 2nd, & 3rd Suit:
C notes
Half G's
Glen, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, & 4th Suit:
Buy out
The Japanese
Glen, 1st Suit, 2nd Suit, 3rd Suit, 4th Suit & 5th Suit:
Land deals
Down in Bocca
Glen:
Doing drinks
With Iacocca
Yeah, it's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the green
Junior Secretary (spoken):
Hey, Gulia, I just got back from Seattle.
There's a coffee store there that's thinking of going national.
Did you get my memo on that?
Glen (spoken):
Nobody's ever gonna pay three bucks for a cup of coffee!
Bring me some real tips!
Second Suit (spoken):
I got something - my brother-in-law works for Coca-Cola.
They're changing their formula - gonna sell it as "New Coke".
Glen (spoken):
New Coke - that's brilliant! Buy all the Coca-Cola stock you can get your hands on! See, Robbie...
(Sung)It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the
Bank rolls
Legal tender
Strippers screaming
Glen's Secretary:
"Hey, Big Spender!"
Glen & 1st Suit:
Cut throat
Firm Expansion
Glen, 1st & 2nd Suit:
Regroup at the
Playboy Mansion
Glen, 1st, 2nd & 3rd Suit:
Blue chips
Pink slips
Glen, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th Suit:
Foreign beers
And ego trips
All:
Bank boards
Gettin' antsy
Glen:
Jellybeans
From Ron and Nancy
Yeah, it's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the
Glen:
Corporate hacks like
Stabbing backs
And twisting arms real slow
But you only holler uncle
If your uncle is the C.E.O.
Yeah, it's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the
Quick deal
Liquidation
Glen and 1st Suit:
S&L
Deregulation
Glen, 1st & 2nd Suit:
Grand slam
Strong gainer
Glen, 1st, 2nd, & 3rd Suit:
Dershowitz
On retainer
Glen, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th Suit:
Output
Income
Glen, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th & 5th Suit:
Skimming off
A tidy sum
Glen:
Reaganomics
Quid pro quo
All:
The G.O.P. is S.R.O.
Glen:
Yeah, it's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the money
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the
Robbie:
It's all about the pay dirt
Shuck and jive
Glen:
Five to Nine
Robbie:
Not nine to five
Glen:
Kick backs
Robbie:
Payola
Both:
Inside tips
On Pepsi-Cola
Glen:
Nasdaq
Robbie:
Dow Jones
Both:
Worshipping
The Milken Clones
Old cigars
New Camara
Yo quiero
More dinero
Suits:
It's all about the green
Robbie:
I wanna be somebody
Suits:
It's all about the green
Robbie:
I wanna be somebody
Glen:
Wanna be somebody
Suits:
It's all about the green
All:
Wanna be somebody
Suits: It's all about the green
All:
Wanna be somebody
It's all about the
All about the green
There's a big shiny future
You've been dying to buy
Better start power lunching
In your power tie
You can't wait for fate
To somehow intervene
If you wanna be somebody
It's all about the green
Robbie (spoken):
I'm sure it's a little more complicated...
Glen (sung):
It's all about the green
Some may say you're headed
Down a crooked trail
But if you sell your soul,
At least you've made a sale
You could end world hunger
Or create a vaccine
But if you wanna be somebody
It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the
Big bucks
Fat checks
Midnight flights
To LAX
Glen & 1st Suit:
Slush funds
High fives
Glen, 1st & 2nd Suit:
Trading stocks
And trading wives
Glen, 1st, 2nd, & 3rd Suit:
C notes
Half G's
Glen, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, & 4th Suit:
Buy out
The Japanese
Glen, 1st Suit, 2nd Suit, 3rd Suit, 4th Suit & 5th Suit:
Land deals
Down in Bocca
Glen:
Doing drinks
With Iacocca
Yeah, it's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the green
Junior Secretary (spoken):
Hey, Gulia, I just got back from Seattle.
There's a coffee store there that's thinking of going national.
Did you get my memo on that?
Glen (spoken):
Nobody's ever gonna pay three bucks for a cup of coffee!
Bring me some real tips!
Second Suit (spoken):
I got something - my brother-in-law works for Coca-Cola.
They're changing their formula - gonna sell it as "New Coke".
Glen (spoken):
New Coke - that's brilliant! Buy all the Coca-Cola stock you can get your hands on! See, Robbie...
(Sung)It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the
Bank rolls
Legal tender
Strippers screaming
Glen's Secretary:
"Hey, Big Spender!"
Glen & 1st Suit:
Cut throat
Firm Expansion
Glen, 1st & 2nd Suit:
Regroup at the
Playboy Mansion
Glen, 1st, 2nd & 3rd Suit:
Blue chips
Pink slips
Glen, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th Suit:
Foreign beers
And ego trips
All:
Bank boards
Gettin' antsy
Glen:
Jellybeans
From Ron and Nancy
Yeah, it's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the
Glen:
Corporate hacks like
Stabbing backs
And twisting arms real slow
But you only holler uncle
If your uncle is the C.E.O.
Yeah, it's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the
Quick deal
Liquidation
Glen and 1st Suit:
S&L
Deregulation
Glen, 1st & 2nd Suit:
Grand slam
Strong gainer
Glen, 1st, 2nd, & 3rd Suit:
Dershowitz
On retainer
Glen, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th Suit:
Output
Income
Glen, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th & 5th Suit:
Skimming off
A tidy sum
Glen:
Reaganomics
Quid pro quo
All:
The G.O.P. is S.R.O.
Glen:
Yeah, it's all about the green
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the money
Suits:
Wanna be somebody?
Glen:
It's all about the
Robbie:
It's all about the pay dirt
Shuck and jive
Glen:
Five to Nine
Robbie:
Not nine to five
Glen:
Kick backs
Robbie:
Payola
Both:
Inside tips
On Pepsi-Cola
Glen:
Nasdaq
Robbie:
Dow Jones
Both:
Worshipping
The Milken Clones
Old cigars
New Camara
Yo quiero
More dinero
Suits:
It's all about the green
Robbie:
I wanna be somebody
Suits:
It's all about the green
Robbie:
I wanna be somebody
Glen:
Wanna be somebody
Suits:
It's all about the green
All:
Wanna be somebody
Suits: It's all about the green
All:
Wanna be somebody
It's all about the
All about the green
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Someday (Reprise)
by The Wedding Singer Cast
JULIA
Someday when it's me
I'll hope our love was meant to be
Not one single complication
Or cause for hesitation
Someday when the dream is coming true
Will you be right for me?
Will I be right for you?
Someday when it's me
I'll hope our love was meant to be
Not one single complication
Or cause for hesitation
Someday when the dream is coming true
Will you be right for me?
Will I be right for you?
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Right in Front of Your Eyes
by The Wedding Singer Cast
HOLLY
Everytime you see his face you get annoyed,
And if ignorance is bliss, he's overjoyed.
And can we talk about that stuff he calls his hair?
But what would happen if one day he wasn't there?
Caught by surprise,
Could you wake up one day and realize
The one that you want is right in front of your eyes?
Every night a hundred guys come through the door.
They take your breath away each time they take the floor.
And they've got the bucks, the tux, the killer face,
But you're still thinking of that jackass with the bass.
You're caught by surprise.
Could you wake up one day and realize
That the one that you want is right in front of your eyes?
You might have a champagne wish or two,
Plus a caviar dream.
But are the lifestyles of the rich and famous
Really all they seem?
(break for music)
SAMMY
The one that you want's right in front of your eyes.
HOLLY
You're caught by surprise.
Could you wake up one day and realize
That the one that you want,
The one that you want,
The one that you want
Is right in front of your eyes?
Everytime you see his face you get annoyed,
And if ignorance is bliss, he's overjoyed.
And can we talk about that stuff he calls his hair?
But what would happen if one day he wasn't there?
Caught by surprise,
Could you wake up one day and realize
The one that you want is right in front of your eyes?
Every night a hundred guys come through the door.
They take your breath away each time they take the floor.
And they've got the bucks, the tux, the killer face,
But you're still thinking of that jackass with the bass.
You're caught by surprise.
Could you wake up one day and realize
That the one that you want is right in front of your eyes?
You might have a champagne wish or two,
Plus a caviar dream.
But are the lifestyles of the rich and famous
Really all they seem?
(break for music)
SAMMY
The one that you want's right in front of your eyes.
HOLLY
You're caught by surprise.
Could you wake up one day and realize
That the one that you want,
The one that you want,
The one that you want
Is right in front of your eyes?
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Single
by The Wedding Singer Cast
SAMMY
No one tells you how you ought to live
No one glares when you do jello shooters
GUYS
Jello
SAMMY
No one says that you're insensitive cause her birthday meal took place at Hooters
GUYS
Hooters
SAMMY
No one tells you that your bald spot's grown
Or that you ought to tone your flab
GUYS
Tone your flab
SAMMY
So pour a double gin
Here's to your double chin
ALL
Yeah, start the party
Start a tab
SAMMY
Cause you're
ALL
Single
SAMMY
You are
ALL
Single
SAMMY
And you'll keep staying single if you're smart
GUYS
If you are smart
SAMMY
Yeah, you're single
You are single
No chick will ever moonwalk on your heart
GUYS
Moonwalk on your heart
SAMMY
Trust me
ALL
This is when the good times really start
SAMMY
No one minds the laundry on your floor
RICKY
No one pouts with every chick you look at
BUM
No one tries to clean your porno drawer
SAMMY
No one traps you with
SAMMY, GEORGE, RICKY & BUM
"Does my ass look fat?"
GEORGE
Bust a move in womens's underwear
While you're blasting Cher or Wham
GUYS
Cher or Wham!
SAMMY, GEORGE, RICKY & BUM
So fill your ranger's cup
The toilet seat stays up
The fridge gets stocked with beer and spam
GEORGE
Cause you're
ALL
Single
GEORGE
You are
ALL
Single
GEORGE
Not a care in the world can bother you
GUYS
Can bother you
GEORGE
You are single
You are single
You can do what you've always wanted to
GUYS
Always wanted to
GEORGE
Well, no commitments
SAMMY, GEORGE, RICKY & BUM
Cause you're only passing through
(rap)
RICKY
Yo, making a date with some needy girl
Is a waste of my time and my Jheri Curl
SAMMY
I don't need a girl who don't understand
When I got a date with my left hand
BUM
Well, I like the ladies, heaven knows
But in the words in Nietzsche, "Bro's before Ho's"
GEORGE
Now, I don't like a girl who'll cry and bawl
In fact, I never liked girls at all
ROBBIE
Sammy, George, Ricky and Bum
I'm starting to see where you're coming from
ROBBIE
Cause I'm
ALL
Single
ROBBIE
Oh, yeah
ALL
Single
ROBBIE
I'll behave like a dude's meant to behave
GUYS
Meant to behave
ROBBIE
Always single
Ever single
Single now and till I'm in my grave
ALL
Single till I am lying in my grave
SAMMY
Though at times I might want someone to hold me tight
And promise me that everything'll be all right
(spoken)
BUM
Everything'll be all right.
SAMMY
Thanks, man.
(sung)
ALL
I'll stay single till I'm rotting slowly in my lonely forgotten grave
No one tells you how you ought to live
No one glares when you do jello shooters
GUYS
Jello
SAMMY
No one says that you're insensitive cause her birthday meal took place at Hooters
GUYS
Hooters
SAMMY
No one tells you that your bald spot's grown
Or that you ought to tone your flab
GUYS
Tone your flab
SAMMY
So pour a double gin
Here's to your double chin
ALL
Yeah, start the party
Start a tab
SAMMY
Cause you're
ALL
Single
SAMMY
You are
ALL
Single
SAMMY
And you'll keep staying single if you're smart
GUYS
If you are smart
SAMMY
Yeah, you're single
You are single
No chick will ever moonwalk on your heart
GUYS
Moonwalk on your heart
SAMMY
Trust me
ALL
This is when the good times really start
SAMMY
No one minds the laundry on your floor
RICKY
No one pouts with every chick you look at
BUM
No one tries to clean your porno drawer
SAMMY
No one traps you with
SAMMY, GEORGE, RICKY & BUM
"Does my ass look fat?"
GEORGE
Bust a move in womens's underwear
While you're blasting Cher or Wham
GUYS
Cher or Wham!
SAMMY, GEORGE, RICKY & BUM
So fill your ranger's cup
The toilet seat stays up
The fridge gets stocked with beer and spam
GEORGE
Cause you're
ALL
Single
GEORGE
You are
ALL
Single
GEORGE
Not a care in the world can bother you
GUYS
Can bother you
GEORGE
You are single
You are single
You can do what you've always wanted to
GUYS
Always wanted to
GEORGE
Well, no commitments
SAMMY, GEORGE, RICKY & BUM
Cause you're only passing through
(rap)
RICKY
Yo, making a date with some needy girl
Is a waste of my time and my Jheri Curl
SAMMY
I don't need a girl who don't understand
When I got a date with my left hand
BUM
Well, I like the ladies, heaven knows
But in the words in Nietzsche, "Bro's before Ho's"
GEORGE
Now, I don't like a girl who'll cry and bawl
In fact, I never liked girls at all
ROBBIE
Sammy, George, Ricky and Bum
I'm starting to see where you're coming from
ROBBIE
Cause I'm
ALL
Single
ROBBIE
Oh, yeah
ALL
Single
ROBBIE
I'll behave like a dude's meant to behave
GUYS
Meant to behave
ROBBIE
Always single
Ever single
Single now and till I'm in my grave
ALL
Single till I am lying in my grave
SAMMY
Though at times I might want someone to hold me tight
And promise me that everything'll be all right
(spoken)
BUM
Everything'll be all right.
SAMMY
Thanks, man.
(sung)
ALL
I'll stay single till I'm rotting slowly in my lonely forgotten grave
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
If I Told You
by The Wedding Singer Cast
ROBBIE
Waiting here underneath your window
Hoping for some kind of sign
Every move, every tiny gesture
Only proves you're not mine
I could write you a thousand love songs
Search the world for the perfect tune and rhyme
But what good would when it seems I'm out of time
If I told you
All the words I've yet to say
Would they matter
Or would you simply turn and walk away
If I hold you
Would you tell me I should go
Do I chance it
Or would it just be better not to know
JULIA
Who's that girl with the perfect future
Her reflection says it all
Trying hard to pretend she's eager
Searching for some way to stall
So unsure of the road she's chosen
Faced with feelings her heart should not allow
On thing's certain, it seems
That she just can't turn back now
If she can, tell her how
BOTH
If I told you
All the words I've yet to say
Would they matter
Or would you simply turn and walk away
If I hold you (if I hold you)
Would you tell me I should go
Do I chance it
Or would it just be better not to know
Would it just be better...
Not to know
Waiting here underneath your window
Hoping for some kind of sign
Every move, every tiny gesture
Only proves you're not mine
I could write you a thousand love songs
Search the world for the perfect tune and rhyme
But what good would when it seems I'm out of time
If I told you
All the words I've yet to say
Would they matter
Or would you simply turn and walk away
If I hold you
Would you tell me I should go
Do I chance it
Or would it just be better not to know
JULIA
Who's that girl with the perfect future
Her reflection says it all
Trying hard to pretend she's eager
Searching for some way to stall
So unsure of the road she's chosen
Faced with feelings her heart should not allow
On thing's certain, it seems
That she just can't turn back now
If she can, tell her how
BOTH
If I told you
All the words I've yet to say
Would they matter
Or would you simply turn and walk away
If I hold you (if I hold you)
Would you tell me I should go
Do I chance it
Or would it just be better not to know
Would it just be better...
Not to know
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Let Me Come Home
by The Wedding Singer Cast
LINDA:
I KNOW I KIND OK WENT OUT WITH A BANG
WHEN I DUMPED YOU OUT OF THE BLUE
BUT MY HEART'S JUST LIKE A BOOMERANG
IT CAME RIGHT BACK TO YOU
NOW I'M CONFESSIN'
I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON
GIVE ME YOUR BLESSIN'
TO COME BACK HOME
HERE'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
ROBBIE:
I don't wanna be alone anymore...
LINDA:
You don't have to be, baby...
NOW I COULD TRY AND DATE SOME GLAMOROUS GUY
AND THINGS MIGHT TURN OUT COOL
BUT AS I LEARNED WHEN I APPLIED TO DEVRY
YOU GOTTA HAVE A SAFETY SCHOOL
NOW YOU'RE MY BACK-UP
DON'T MAKE ME PACK-UP
AND HAVE TO SHACK UP
CDOWN BY THE INTERSTATE
YEAH, I'LL REITERATE
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
AND TOMORROW WHEN YOU WAKE UP
YOU'LL NO LONGER HAVE AN EX
CAUSE THE BEST PART OF A BREAK-UP
IS THE MAKE-UP SEX
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
LET ME COME
LET ME COME
LET ME COME HOME
I KNOW I KIND OK WENT OUT WITH A BANG
WHEN I DUMPED YOU OUT OF THE BLUE
BUT MY HEART'S JUST LIKE A BOOMERANG
IT CAME RIGHT BACK TO YOU
NOW I'M CONFESSIN'
I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON
GIVE ME YOUR BLESSIN'
TO COME BACK HOME
HERE'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
ROBBIE:
I don't wanna be alone anymore...
LINDA:
You don't have to be, baby...
NOW I COULD TRY AND DATE SOME GLAMOROUS GUY
AND THINGS MIGHT TURN OUT COOL
BUT AS I LEARNED WHEN I APPLIED TO DEVRY
YOU GOTTA HAVE A SAFETY SCHOOL
NOW YOU'RE MY BACK-UP
DON'T MAKE ME PACK-UP
AND HAVE TO SHACK UP
CDOWN BY THE INTERSTATE
YEAH, I'LL REITERATE
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
AND TOMORROW WHEN YOU WAKE UP
YOU'LL NO LONGER HAVE AN EX
CAUSE THE BEST PART OF A BREAK-UP
IS THE MAKE-UP SEX
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
LET ME COME HOME TO YOU BABY
LET ME COME HOME
LET ME COME
LET ME COME
LET ME COME HOME
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
If I Told You (Reprise)
by The Wedding Singer Cast
[Rosie]
I'm now going to read a poem that i wrote for my husband,
On this our very special day.
[Robbie]
And i wonder if i might have let you slip away, and are you gone for good.
And i wonder is there something left that i could say...
And
[robbie & Julia]
If i told you
[J] All the words i've yet to say
[R] I wonder if i told you...
[J] would they matter, or would you simply turn and walk away...
[Rosie]
And now that its been fifty years i still have you to dry my tears
And sheild me from all fears and harms
Heres to fifty more years in your arms
[Robbie]
I wonder if its true...I wonder if i hold you... i wonder
[Julia]
If i hold you, will you tell me i should go
Do i chance it or would it just be better not to know
[Robbie]
Would it just be better...not to know
I'm now going to read a poem that i wrote for my husband,
On this our very special day.
[Robbie]
And i wonder if i might have let you slip away, and are you gone for good.
And i wonder is there something left that i could say...
And
[robbie & Julia]
If i told you
[J] All the words i've yet to say
[R] I wonder if i told you...
[J] would they matter, or would you simply turn and walk away...
[Rosie]
And now that its been fifty years i still have you to dry my tears
And sheild me from all fears and harms
Heres to fifty more years in your arms
[Robbie]
I wonder if its true...I wonder if i hold you... i wonder
[Julia]
If i hold you, will you tell me i should go
Do i chance it or would it just be better not to know
[Robbie]
Would it just be better...not to know
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Move That Thing
by The Wedding Singer Cast
[george]
Mrs. hart, it seems we've lost half of out band...
This is awkward...
[rosie]
George, i think i can come up with something.... give me a beat
[r]
Well first things first, my name is rose
I can bust fly rhymes just like the pros
I aint got time for tea and scones
Forget rocking chairs i rock microphones
The roof
The roof
The roof might have snow
But that dont mean there aint a fire burning down below
[g]
Cuz its never too late
[r]
All my homies say
[g]
Never too late ya'll
[r]
All my ladies say
[g]
Never too late
[r]
Everybody say
[both]
Never too late to move that thang
[g]
Well you say it like a boom just blinking
And trugging cant hear the truth cuz you might start buggin
[r]
Now the r to the o the s to the e
Do you feel me boo?
[g]
Indubitively.
When fiercest of dreams are not fufillis
Just reply...
[r]
What you talkin bout willis?
[g]
So you sayin the tape keeps back and stride
Just pass the dutchie on my left hand side
[r]
Keep it cool and youll never start illin
[g]
I know youre not illin
[r]
I'm chillin like a villain
[g]
Well its never too late
[r]
All my homies say
[g]
Never too late ya'll
[r]
All my ladies say
[g]
Never too late
[r]
Everybody say
[both]
Never too late to move that thang
[music interlude]
[g]
Well its never too late
[r]
All my homies say
[g]
Never too late ya'll
[r]
All my ladies say
[g]
Never too late
[r]
Everybody say
[r]
Never too late to move that thang
[g]
Never too late
[r]
Move that thang
Move that thang
[g]
Never too late
[both]
Never to late to move that thang
[g]
Word to your grandmotha
Mrs. hart, it seems we've lost half of out band...
This is awkward...
[rosie]
George, i think i can come up with something.... give me a beat
[r]
Well first things first, my name is rose
I can bust fly rhymes just like the pros
I aint got time for tea and scones
Forget rocking chairs i rock microphones
The roof
The roof
The roof might have snow
But that dont mean there aint a fire burning down below
[g]
Cuz its never too late
[r]
All my homies say
[g]
Never too late ya'll
[r]
All my ladies say
[g]
Never too late
[r]
Everybody say
[both]
Never too late to move that thang
[g]
Well you say it like a boom just blinking
And trugging cant hear the truth cuz you might start buggin
[r]
Now the r to the o the s to the e
Do you feel me boo?
[g]
Indubitively.
When fiercest of dreams are not fufillis
Just reply...
[r]
What you talkin bout willis?
[g]
So you sayin the tape keeps back and stride
Just pass the dutchie on my left hand side
[r]
Keep it cool and youll never start illin
[g]
I know youre not illin
[r]
I'm chillin like a villain
[g]
Well its never too late
[r]
All my homies say
[g]
Never too late ya'll
[r]
All my ladies say
[g]
Never too late
[r]
Everybody say
[both]
Never too late to move that thang
[music interlude]
[g]
Well its never too late
[r]
All my homies say
[g]
Never too late ya'll
[r]
All my ladies say
[g]
Never too late
[r]
Everybody say
[r]
Never too late to move that thang
[g]
Never too late
[r]
Move that thang
Move that thang
[g]
Never too late
[both]
Never to late to move that thang
[g]
Word to your grandmotha
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Grow Old With You
by The Wedding Singer Cast
I wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you.
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches.
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growin old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you, and even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man who grows old with you.
[Robbie & Julia]
I'll miss you, kiss you, take your shoes off and rub your feet.
Need you, feed you, and when we play checkers i'll let you cheat.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the one who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you.
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches.
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growin old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you, and even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man who grows old with you.
[Robbie & Julia]
I'll miss you, kiss you, take your shoes off and rub your feet.
Need you, feed you, and when we play checkers i'll let you cheat.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the one who grows old with you.
I wanna grow old with you.
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
It's Your Wedding Day (Finale)
by The Wedding Singer Cast
[sammy]
He wrote a song six years ago while playing in a wedding band
[george]
The word got out and suddenly his band was super in demand
[impersonator 0]
People call him the wedding singer
He sang at weddings and soon the name was out
[holly]
But he got dumped by his fiance and then...
He just snapped
He just snapped
He just snapped
He just snapped
He just snapped
[impersonator 1]
He met a girl named julia
Who saved him from his tale of woe
[impersonator 2]
*speaks phillipino*
[sammy]
For those of you who speak phillipino you know that things ended up the way they should
[impersonator 3]
Thats the way that the story ends
[rosie]
Care to dance?
[impersonator 3]
Yes i would come on granny show me what youre made of
[master of ceremony]
Ladies and gentlemen, mr. and mrs. Robbie Hart!
[robbie and julia]
If i told you what i'm feeling now inside
Youd be certain theres not a single thing that we should hide
If i hold you...theres one problem you should know...
If i hold you... i might not ever let you go
*all*
Never let you go...
Never let you go...
[robbie]
So when its your wedding day
And my music starts to play
I can guarantee that
[ALL]
Oh oh ohhhhhhhhh
Woo oh oh
*all*
LOVE WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU!
[robbie]
Yeah when its your wedding day
All the problems melt away
If you count on me
Cuz love is what...
Yes love is what....
[all]
Oh oh ohhhhhhhhhh
Woo oh oh
[robbie-spoken]
I do.
[Julia-spoken]
I do.
*ALL*
*I DOOOOOOOOO....*
Love is what i DOOOOOOOOOO....
He wrote a song six years ago while playing in a wedding band
[george]
The word got out and suddenly his band was super in demand
[impersonator 0]
People call him the wedding singer
He sang at weddings and soon the name was out
[holly]
But he got dumped by his fiance and then...
He just snapped
He just snapped
He just snapped
He just snapped
He just snapped
[impersonator 1]
He met a girl named julia
Who saved him from his tale of woe
[impersonator 2]
*speaks phillipino*
[sammy]
For those of you who speak phillipino you know that things ended up the way they should
[impersonator 3]
Thats the way that the story ends
[rosie]
Care to dance?
[impersonator 3]
Yes i would come on granny show me what youre made of
[master of ceremony]
Ladies and gentlemen, mr. and mrs. Robbie Hart!
[robbie and julia]
If i told you what i'm feeling now inside
Youd be certain theres not a single thing that we should hide
If i hold you...theres one problem you should know...
If i hold you... i might not ever let you go
*all*
Never let you go...
Never let you go...
[robbie]
So when its your wedding day
And my music starts to play
I can guarantee that
[ALL]
Oh oh ohhhhhhhhh
Woo oh oh
*all*
LOVE WILL ALWAYS FIND YOU!
[robbie]
Yeah when its your wedding day
All the problems melt away
If you count on me
Cuz love is what...
Yes love is what....
[all]
Oh oh ohhhhhhhhhh
Woo oh oh
[robbie-spoken]
I do.
[Julia-spoken]
I do.
*ALL*
*I DOOOOOOOOO....*
Love is what i DOOOOOOOOOO....
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
Prime Rib or Fish
by The Wedding Singer Cast
We're going to take a short break
Please enjoy your
Prime rib or fish!
Please enjoy your
Prime rib or fish!
Copyright: Lyrics © Original Writer and Publisher
The Wedding Singer is a musical with music by Matthew Sklar, lyrics by Chad Beguelin, and a book by Beguelin and Tim Herlihy. It is based on the 1998 film of the same name. The musical revolves around Robbie, who sings at weddings, his failed relationship with his former fiancée, and his romance with a new love, Julia.
The musical premiered on Broadway in 2006 and had several US tours starting in 2007. It was nominated for the 2006 Tony Award for Best Musical. It subsequently has had many international productions.
-Wikipedia
Genre(s):
Soundtrack, Musical The musical premiered on Broadway in 2006 and had several US tours starting in 2007. It was nominated for the 2006 Tony Award for Best Musical. It subsequently has had many international productions.
-Wikipedia
Year: 2006