saudade Video (MV)

Just left the city, and I'm thinkin' bout it still
I'm tryna climb before I'm dyin' on this hill
We lockin' lips, that get me higher than a pill
Don't leave me out if you been finding something real
Don't count me out if you still want that Cinderella story
In the stu every night we get celebratory
Spliff to the head, then we tell each other scary stories
Let me set the scene
It's just us two
Everything serene
We sparkin' runtz, too
She like "Lemme tell you sum", I know what that means
This the shit that always happen in my bad dreams
She pull her hair back, and then she start to speak
She tell me how she feelin' vulnerable, she feelin' weak
You know I feel the same, just say what you mean
Say what you need to say, I won't say a thing
I seen a tear roll down her cheek so I know what's coming
Just spit it out so I can start to heal and overcome it
She choking on her words, I'm bout to speak my mind
Lemme wait my turn, let her take her time
And then she look me in my eyes and tell me that she done
She like "I can't put you first, you not my number one"
Been sum between us for a minute so I saw this coming
Even though I knew this shit would happen, felt it in my stomach
I don't even have nothin' to say, so I just give a nod
Then she look me in my face and then she ask me why I'm giving up
You just told me that you done and I would never chase nobody
She like "Boy, I just gave you a chance and you still don't want it"
Now I'm getting tight, I'm standin' up to leave
She reachin' for my arm, and then she grab the sleeve
Don't know why she think I need her, I don't, I just
I just love my life so much when I'm alone
But listen up, 'cause this the part that f*cked me up the most
She sat me down again and then she reached inside her tote
What could she possibly want to show me on the phone?
I don't think it's anything you could tell me I don't already know
She like "I apologize, but I just gotta say it"
"And I'm gone understand if after this, you start to hate me"
I'm like "I could never hate you, I don't got it in me"
Then she told me that she cheat when I go to the city
Damn
I was so numb already, I don't think I said a word
I thought that night that she would break me off but that was worse
I ain't show it but I felt worthless, can't let her know I'm hurting
So I just played it cool and I asked a couple questions
"Was it all for lust or did you f*ck him like you meant it?"
"After you left his crib, did you ever learn your lesson?"
"Did you do this 'cause you sick of me? Like, what was your intention?"
Then she start makin' excuses, like "I don't wanna do this shit"
"I don't wanna have this conversation and move through this shit"
I don't give a f*ck, you the one that put me through it
Can you just answer what I asked you? Why the f*ck you do it?
Now I'm starin' in her eyes while I'm waitin' for an answer
I'll say it again, why you do it with a random?
She like "It wasn't a random, I was with ya mans"
At this point I know she really tryna throw me off the edge
But I keep my composure and then I stand up slow
I'm like "Thank you for tonight, but I think I gotta go"
She tell me she love me, I tell her no she don't
You don't even know what love means, you think that shit a joke