A. Charles - Flatbush in December Lyrics

I miss my grandma sometimes, like i know she's still alive
But when i look into her eyes, can see that she don't recognize
She don't recognize me or any of her loved ones
Can't recall my first name, let alone that I'm her grandson
I'm just thankful, for every last memory
Can't take that away even if she don't remember me
The lord giveth but that nigga loves taking
Becoming less religious, nothings changing with the praying
I treated trips to your apartment like a burden
Wish i noticed when things started to worsen
But i can't take it back, now that it's your final act
And your life's about to close like a set of stage curtains (Damn)
Sorry i wasn't a better grandson
So we drinking every night just to try and mask the pain
But when you have cuts this deep, alcohol don't work the same
Chugging red red wine like I'm ub-40
Mama asking whatchu gone be when ub 40?
Cause i aint got a kid and i don't have a spouse
Just tryna cop a house with words I'm rhyming out my mouth
I done failed so many times they losing faith in me
But my... setbacks will never be my identity
They said they wanted us to open up right
We already here so we might as well open all the way up right?
Yeah, Switch up
I'm bout to ring off like a spouse who's bout to cheat up in this bitch
Camera phones in the crowd but no cheesing in this bitch
I never quite know when to leave up in this bitch
Like when i almost died messing with that married chick
I mean, she wasn't full blown married they were separated
She liked the fact i was young black and educated
But on that warm summer night when she let me take a bite
I found out why Malcolm x said the devil is white
Tripped so bad i aint talking vaca's
Happened in June, but your boy was screaming mayday
Last thing i remember was my face up on the pavement
Waking up to doctor's telling me I'm lucky to have made it (DAMN)
There you have it, drugged on her birthday
Who would've guessed her born day would be my worst day
Shoulda seen the signs when we met up for the first date
Ignored red flags like a driver on a speed chase
Now I'm writing lyrics, staring out my window
Terrified that i might've missed my window
Married to the game, but afraid to be a widow
No time for play play, we've gotta make this shit go
I contemplated being homeless for a little bit
Not cause I'm broke like i still have a job and shit
But if i didn't pay rent! i could put the money towards the music
You know REALLY pursue it
What's wrong with me, I'm really not thinking straight
Would rather hit the booth then take my crush out on a date
Prefer to hit an open mic then try to find my future wife
Cause if my soul aint fed then I'm better off dead (BANG)