A Pitched Static Hum - Disgust You Lyrics

The doctor came today
He told me I could come home for a short stay
It's not that I'm getting better It's just that-
This may be my last chance
I think you know what I mean
Even so I'm glad to be coming home
I've missed you terribly
But I'm afraid James
I'm afraid you don't really want me to come home
Whenever you come see me
I can tell how hard it is on you
Everyday I stare up at the cracks at the ceiling
And all I can think about is how unfair it all is
I don't know if you hate me or pity me
Or maybe I just disgust you
I'm sorry about that
When I first learned I was going to die
I just didn't want to accept it
I was so angry all the time
And I struck out at everyone I loved most
Especially you
That's why I understand if you do hate me
But I want you to know this James
I'll always love you