Don't Know How To Feel Video (MV)

Trying not to die
Trying
Trying
Never felt alive
Look at myself in the mirror every day
Tell me, f*ck you, kill yourself, it's okay
Never thought that I would feel this way
But I guess my life wasn't perfect anyway, yeah
Learning how to deal with the pain every day
I'm talking to myself, seeming strange
Beside my self with the bad habits
And suicidal ways
I Need to make a change in the way that I'm living
Pick myself up and pursue my vision
Get held back by alcohol, so I need to get back on track
But I'm stuck in my ways, I'm soaking in pain
Cause I'm drowning in my sorrow
Praying and hoping I won't see tomorrow
Praying that I drink to the bottom of the bottle
But the only time I feel okay is when intoxicated
I've gone in circles
I think I'm crazy
My minds gone wild
And I don't know why
The world is silver and I am broke
Tryna stop the pain but I'm incapable
Kinda thought that I'd be dead by now
Don't know how to feel
Don't know how to live
Been suicidal ever since I was a kid
Came out from nothing to something amazing
Thankful for the family and the friends I have
Been through tough times, hoping it pass
Living the best even though I'm depressed
Rise up and tackle what's next
Trying to stay happy even though I'm stressed
Focus on the future, not the past
Been through tough times, rough lives
But we gon' make it out alright
Took the pills and tried to kill myself at night
Wake up the next morning and I'm alive
Fein for the bottle, stepping on the throttle
Late night drive to numb the pain
It never stays away, I hate myself every day
Don't know how to feel, yah
Don't know how to feel, feel
Don't know how to feel, yah
Don't know how to feel, feel
Tired of Feeling this way every day
I wake up in the morning hoping life's okay
I tell myself let's make it a good day
But sometimes I wanna shoot myself in the brain
I can't stand the way that the world works these days
Why does having life meaning having to pay
Can't tell who real or fake everyday
I think to myself, are you a snake
I'm stuck in situations that make or break
Situations that make my core shake
I'm trying so hard to hold on but it's getting harder everyday
I'm awake