Alas - monumental Lyrics

I spent a week in my apartment
Close the blinds don't let the light in
Three days overthinking my every move
Four nights spent tryna get over you
I give myself downtime like an assignment
One week seemed right for a few months then
Thank therapy, I've learnt not to trust my thoughts
So in my mind
I'm a priest in the dark
Holding out a cross
Oh I don't wanna be like this
Oh I don't wanna be like this
I don't wanna be like this
I just wanna feel seen
The mind of Goliath, a body like me
So light and gentle
I'd like to be small not monumental
I don't wanna be anxious
As I pick at my scars
I wanna be calming, like minimal art
That feels so gentle
I wanna be small not monumental
I bite my tongue and hold my breath in
I test my friends to check they're listening
I make up stories about the perfect man
Make up reasons to stay with him
But I straighten my shoulders and I call it 'just a phase'
Stay still, calm and quiet and focus on the better days
Oh I've barely reached the edge of 23
And all the things I know I could be are staring back at me
Oh I don't wanna be like this
Oh I don't wanna be like this
I don't wanna be like this
I just wanna feel seen
The mind of Goliath, a body like me
So light and gentle
I'd like to be small not monumental
I don't wanna be anxious
As I pick at my scars
I wanna be calming, like minimal art
That feels so gentle
I wanna be small not monumental
Thank therapy, I've learnt not to trust my thoughts
So in my mind
I'm a priest in the dark
Holding out a cross