[ Featuring Yogi Yorgesson ]
Oh I yust go nuts at christmas
On that yolly holiday
I'll go in the red like a knucklehead
Cause I'll squander all my pay
Oh I yust go nuts at Christmas
Shopping sheer drives me berserk
On the day before I rush in a store
Like a perviveval yerk
I'll look at nightgowns for my wife
Those black ones trimmed in red
But I won't know her size and so she'll get a carpet sveeper instead
Oh I yust go nuts at Christmas
When each kid hangs up his sock
It's a time for kids to flip their lids
While their papa goes in hawk
On the night before Christmas it's still in the house
My family is sleeping so I'm quiet like a mouse
I look at my watch and midnight is near
I think I'll sneak out for a cold glass of beer
Down at the corner the crowd is so merry
I end up drinking about 12 Tom and yerry
I get to bed late gee vis how I'm sleeping
When onto my bed those darn kids they come leaping
They sit on my face and they yump on my belly
And I'm quivering all over like a bowl full of yelly
They scream Merry Christmas and my poor wife and me
We stumble downstairs and she lights up the tree
My head is exploding my mouth tastes like a pickle
I step on a skate and fall on a tricycle
Just before Christmas dinner I relax to a point
Then relatives start swarming all over the yoint
On Christmas I hug and I kiss my wife's mother
The rest of the year we don't speak to each other
After dinner my aunt and my wife's uncle Louie
Get into an argument their both awful screwy
Then all my wife's family say Louie is right
And my goofy relations they yoin in the fight
Back in the corner the radios playing
And over the racket Gabriel heater is saying
Peace on earth everybody and good will towards men
And yust at that moment someone slugs Uncle Ben
They all run outsides whooping so the neighbors will hear
Oh I'm so glad merry Christmas comes yust once a year
Oh I yust go nuts at Christmas but I still have lots of fun
Yust the same as you I enjoy it too
Merry Christmas Everyone
