[ Featuring Josh Gad ]
[DOUG, spoken]
Scene four
The next morning
Today is the day of the German celebration
Known as "Festival"
[BUD, spoken]
Dawn is beginning?to?break over the?town of Schlimmer
Beef Fat Trimmer steps?forward
Through the stinky morning mist
[DOUG [as Beef Fat Trimmer](BUD [as Daughter])]
The sun, it rises in the East
I smell bread rising with the yeast
For today is no ordinary day
It's the day... of Festival
(Today I dance)
This sun, it rises in the East (At Festival)
(In knee-rosen pants)
I smell bread rising with the yeast
(Yeah, that's the festival)
[BOTH (as Beef Fat Trimmer and Daughter)]
For today is no ordinary day
It's the day of Festival
[BUD, spoken]
We see Gutenberg pulling a wagon
With the printing press inside
It is covered with a sheet
He is going to the town square
He still does not know the printing press has been destroyed
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)]
They'll go nuts
And lift me in their arms
When I show 'em my press
I'm takin' to festival
[BUD (as Helvetica)]
Oh Gutenberg, I'm sorry
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)]
I'm so psyched!
[BUD (as Helvetica)]
Forgive me!
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)]
I'll be even more well liked!
[BUD (as Helvetica)]
And the town will have his head
Once they see the printing press is dead!
(as Daughter)
Today I dance
[DOUG [as Beef Fat Trimmer] (BUD [as Helvetica])]
The sun, it rises in the east
(Oh Gutenberg)
[BUD (as Daughter)]
At the Festival
[DOUG [as Johan Gutenberg] (BUD [as Helvetica])]
Gutenberg, Gutenberg, Gutenberg, Gutenberg, Gutenberg
(Will you ever for-)
[BUD (as Daughter)]
In knee-rosen pants
[DOUG [as Beef Fat Trimmer] (BUD [as Helvetica])]
The sun is rising
(I smashed your press)
[BUD (as Daughter)]
That's the best
[DOUG [as Johan Gutenberg] (BUD [as Helvetica])]
Gutenberg, Gutenberg, Gutenberg, Gutenberg, Gutenberg
(Now I'm a mess)
[BOTH (as All)]
For today is no ordinary day
It's the day...
[BUD (as Daughter)]
The blessed day
[BOTH (as All)]
...of Festival
[BOTH (as Drunk #1 and Drunk #2), spoken]
It's the festival!
[DOUG (as Drunk #1), spoken]
I'm still drunk!
[BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken]
I'm always drunk!
[BOTH (as Drunk #1 and Drunk #2)]
Festival
It's the best of all
It's the crest of all our desires
Festival
Take the rest of all of the festivals
To the fires
[DOUG (as Drunk #1)]
There is so much food and drink
[BUD (as Drunk #2)]
There's just enough to make you faint
[DOUG (as Drunk #1)]
I wish it'd all be tickled pink
[BOTH (as Drunk #1 and Drunk #2)]
I'm tellin' y'all, let's dance!
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
It's Monk!
[BUD (as Monk)]
Don't forget, I met the devil
In a haunted German wood
I'm a terrible monk and I've got a plan
And it's happenin' like it should!
Now the girl's in trouble
And his press is rubble
And his Guten-bubble's gonna burst!
Ha!
I'll just wait and see
Wine man Mr. G
As they roast him like a bratwurst
Ha!
[DOUG (as Young Monk)]
Why does he have to be so bad?!
[BUD (as Flower Girl)]
I've got daffodils
And some roses too
But you can't have one
(spoken)
BECAUSE YOU'RE A JEW!!!
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)]
Oh flower girl!
Why must you have this ridiculous hatred of the Jews?
It's irrational and it's wrong
It hurts me to see my fellow townspeople
Acting this way
Just think of where all this hatred could lead
Before you know it
We could be in the middle
Of a Second World War
And that's why I have something under this sheet
That could unite us all
[BUD, spoken]
Everyone gasps
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Oh no!
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
Well, well, well
What have we here?
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
It was a... printing press
[BUD (as Monk), spoken)]
A printing press?!
What's that for?
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
It was going to... change the world
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
Get him!
[DOUG, spoken]
The townspeople converge
And attack Gutenberg
They are filled with irrational mob mentality
And soon collect wood
Light a fire
And burn Gutenberg alive
Lights shift