[ Featuring Josh Gad ]
[DOUG, spoken]
Scene two
The church on the hill
Monk is pretending to pray
Gutenberg enters
(as Johan Gutenberg)
Hey... nice Church
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
Well,?Mr.?Johan Gutenberg
What brings?you to by Church on the?hill
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Last night, I invented the printing press
And now I wanna print the Bible with it
I'm gonna call it The Gutenberg Bible
[BUD (as Monk), whispering]
Aah, a Bible that will be printed
And distributed to the masses
He must not know the printing press has been destroyed
I shall toy with him
(spoken)
Tell me, Mr. Johan Gutenberg!
Ya ever through about becoming a monk?!
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
I did once
Seemed boring
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
No, Johan Gutenberg!
Monking is powa!
(singing)
Monk with me!
Come live here
I think you'll like it
I've got a cat!
Plus there's food
Delicious loaves and fishes
(spoken)
Here, taste that!
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)]
I don't know if I can stay and dine
Somehow, it don't feel right
[BUD (as Monk)]
Monk with me!
Try this on
It's a monk robe
(spoken)
Don't that feel nice?
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Monk...
[BUD (as Monk)]
It's real silk
From China
There's nothin' finer
It's worth the price
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
I want it!
[BUD (as Monk)]
Then monk... with me
My friend
Yeah!
We're monkin' for God now!
Monk... with me
My friend
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)]
My brain is torn
My heart's confused
I wonder if I'm being used
I only want the world to read!
Can I still do that and monk?
[BUD (as Monk)]
It's better if the world can't read
God is what the people need
I'm saying that God could be... we!
Oh Gutenberg... monk... with...
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
NOOOOO!
Oh Monk, don't you see?!
We're different!
You believe in God!
I believe... in stuff!
God and stuff don't mix!
They're like bugs and beautiful skin
Plus, let's face it...
You are a terrible monk
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
Choose your words very carefully, Johan Gutenberg!
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Words? Yes, I almost forgot!
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
What?
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Words!
Yes, like the words in this Bible!
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
No!
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Words are why I came here!
(singing)
I believe in my words
I believe in my press
I believe in a reading Germany
Now you want me to monk
As throw that away
I think it's time to go
[BUD (as Monk)]
Do not tell me...
[DOUG [as Johan Gutenberg] (BUD [as Monk])]
My answer now is no
(Do not tell me no)
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
Door's locked!
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
What?!
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
Window's closed!
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
How?!
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
You're not going anywhere
Johan Gutenberg!
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Yes I am!
And I'm taking this huge Bible with me!
Oh! It feels like...
Goodness!
The only thing better than this feeling...
Would he mass producing this feeling
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
Gimme that Bible!
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
How?!
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
You better get your mind off of words
Johan Gutenberg
Why, don't you want to go to heaven?
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Heaven?
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
Yes, heaven!
Why? Where do you think people go when they die?!
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Oh, I dunno
I guess I think most people turn into dirt
But some people... turn into statues!
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
Statues?
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Yes!
I want my statue to be me
Riding on a dragon
Nursing a baby!
[BUD (as Monk), spoken]
Johan Gutenberg
There are no statues in heaven!
[DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken]
Then I don't wanna go there!
[BUD (as Monk)]
Oh, Gutenberg is such a mess
Your life is caught up in that press
You'll never come to holiness
Unless... you...
Monk... with me
My friend
Yes! We can change heaven!
Monk...
[DOUG [as Johan Gutenberg] (BUD [as Monk])]
I've got to get out
(...with me!)
These windows are locked
(My friend, yeah!)
And that dark passageway is long
(Don't make me angry!)
Now I've got an idea
(Monk... with me!)
I'll smash through the door!
(My friend!)
Yes!
This is my goodbye!
[BUD (as Monk)]
You will rue too soon that you
Refused to choose to monk...
With...
Me!