Anval - Losing Everything Lyrics

I watched my father slip away and I kept drinking
I held my newborn daughter for the first time and I still kept drinking
I shattered my body lost my mind and I still kept drinking
Until I lost everything
Dad took his last breath left scars on my soul
Poured whiskey in the wound let the sorrow take control
Didn't cry didn't grieve just swallowed the burn
Said I'd stop tomorrow but I'd never return
Sarah held me up tried to keep me aligned
But I was too far gone too lost in my mind
Every promise I made turned to smoke in the wind
Said I'd change for her but I broke it again
Losing everything can't find my way
Every step forward just pulls me away
Tried to hold on tried to survive
But I lost it all just barely alive
November 28th my whole world should've changed
Held my baby in my arms but I felt so estranged
Shaken from withdrawals hands cold like the air
Looked into her eyes saw love but felt despair
Told myself this is it gotta straighten my path
But by midnight I was wasted drowning deep in the past
Thought fatherhood could fix me thought love would be enough
But addiction had its grip and that grip wouldn't budge
Losing everything can't find my way
Every step forward just pulls me away
Tried to hold on tried to survive
But I lost it all just barely alive
Lost my job lost my pride lost my fight
Couldn't tell day from dark every day felt like night
December 21st whiskey in my veins
Fought my own brother woke up drowning in pain
Legs snapped paramedics sirens in the street
Didn't feel the break couldn't feel my defeat
Woke up in a bed screws deep in my bones
A cane in my grip but I still felt alone
A year in a wheelchair eighteen months in pain
Doctors fixed my body but I still felt the same
Didn't need my legs I was lost in my vice
Didn't need my hands I was rolling the dice
I lost my father I lost my body I lost my mind
And the worst part I didn't even care
Losing everything can't find my way
Every step forward just pulls me away
Tried to hold on tried to survive
But I lost it all just barely alive
Kept falling and falling until there was nothing left to lose