Assimilate This - The Ballad Of The Red Shirt Crew Lyrics

We step off the ship with a tricorder in hand
A brave red shirt on an alien land
The Captain's there and Spock's got his phaser
But if trouble is near we are walking the razor
Oh the red shirts fall one by one
On alien worlds beneath foreign suns
We boldly go where we'll meet our doom
In the red shirt crew we're just making room
There was poor Ensign Green who tripped on a vine
A carnivorous plant had him for suppertime
Lieutenant Kaplan thought he'd mapped all the terrain
But a Gorn's nasty claw tore right through his brain
Oh the red shirts fall one by one
On alien worlds beneath foreign suns
We boldly go where we'll meet our doom
In the red shirt crew we're just making room
Torn by salt vampires or phased into dust
Crushed by a boulder because someone said trust
So if you're beaming down and your shirt is red
Just kiss your loved ones because you'll soon be dead
Poor Hendorff froze when the Mugato roared
And Ensign Ricky was stabbed with a sword
No medals no glory no names in lights
Just alien monsters and a desperate fight
Oh the red shirts fall one by one
On alien worlds beneath foreign suns
We boldly go where we'll meet our doom
In the red shirt crew we're just making room
So here's to the crew in crimson and gold
The first to die their stories untold
Their sacrifice keeps the Captain alive
For without the red shirts who would ever survive