Attivsociety - God Lyrics

I guess it's been along time since I've been talking to you
And I guess I was afraid of what you say about what I do
Or condemn me for the way I am
Man
I've been in the darkness for so long that I've blinded to the light
I pray for better days cause there's too many sleepless nights
When my light seems to fight with my dark
Or the dark seems to stomps out of every spark
God why do you let this happen to me
It's killing me my anxiety
Are you even hearing me
But it's like
When I have problems
Who do I look to to stop them
You're the scape goat for everything wrong with my life like
I'm talking to you her
Then I'm talking to me
Then I'm talking to you now I can't even breathe
But I hope that you see
Me running in this circle that I can't seem to leave
I am always taking the lead but
Then I put you behind but
Now your stuck on my mind but
The happiness that I try to find is written between all of my lines
And I hope that I can still finish on time ya
Waitin'
I'm fading out
Wont you call me
Don't you want me
Tainted
I'm wasted now
Thought you saw me
Break my fall please
I'm defensive because I'm behind enemy lines in my mind
I'm more broken with every line that I cross
I try to pray to you but I only seem to to complain to you
And hope for a change that I'm needing from you
Like what's wrong with my brain
In my thoughts I get lost
But you made me this way so
Maybe I should've prayed to hear what you wanted to say but
I'll have to save that for another day cuz my pride won't let me say that I need to say ya
Why do I talk so much but never listen
Maybe the silence would sound different
If I would shut my mouth and let you in
But that would mean that I would have to accept
That there's something that I've done that needs forgiven
But I'll just blame you like I always do
And say God I only want advice when I'm going through hell
Nobody gets it
But I guess it's ironic cuz
I'm spillin' my guys in all of my rhymes and all of my lines
But there's still parts that I hide from everyone else
I'm so hypocritical of myself
Waitin'
I'm fading out
Wont you call me
Don't you want me
Tainted
I'm wasted now
Thought you saw me
Break my fall please
You can call me crazy
I really am maybe
I've given up on love
Because I've chased down everything that I wished that it was
And I've picked myself up enough
Each time a piece chipped away looking back at old mistakes
I'm wishing my thoughts would take a break
I'm a nobody who wants to be a somebody
I brought myself up for nothing
But sitting here alone checking my phone
Ostracized and all alone
With no notifications
I care more about notifications than I do relations
I'm not good with sharing my feelings
But it comes out when I talk to God
And I think it's odd
But what am I supposed to say
That I'm on my knees every night for him to take the pain away
I lead in rejection
It's simply no question
But wasn't the easiest of lessons to learn
But what I see when I look at my reflection
Is a messed up complexion with no direction
But I see myself in a broken mirrors perspective
Depression kreepin' in
Skeletons wantin' in
They tell me to think of me
And sometimes that's all I see about me
Everybody asks if I'm ok
Like what am I supposed to say
That I go to sleep hating to see the day
I'm numb but I'm fine
People say don't let your past define you and even have I
Cuz if you let these feelings remind you
Then they'll bury you so deep inside of you that you can't even find you
I lie awake feelin fake with every short breath that I take
There's never a me that I won't freakin' hate
So I can't save myself
I've stalled at the gate
And I'm late in this marathon
I've lost pace
So God take it I'm done
I can't run on my own
So lead me to the way that takes me home ya
Waitin'
I'm fading out
Wont you call me
Don't you want me
Tainted
I'm wasted now
Thought you saw me
Break my fall please
Call my name and I'll be there
Call my name don't be scared