Becker Core - Serotonin Lyrics

My mornings start like a sinking ship,
Eyes wide open, but I'm not equipped.
There's a war in my head I can't disown,
A quiet chaos I fight alone.
They said these pills would make me better,
But the fog just feels a little wetter.

I trace the lines of who I used to be,
But the mirror only laughs at me.

I'm terrible with serotonin,
It slips through my hands like a dream I'm losing.
They tell me, "You'll feel whole in time,"
But the clocks don't match this mess of mine.
Anti-psychotics, they dim the noise,
But they drown the notes, steal the voice.
Give me feeling or leave me broken-
I'm terrible with serotonin.

They said the meds would build me a bridge,
But I'm stuck here staring at the ridge.
The highs are gone, but so are the songs,
I'm halfway numb and still half wrong.
I've got friends who cheer from the sidelines,
But no one's walking this crooked line.

They say, "You've got to trust the climb,"
But I've been slipping all the time.

I'm terrible with serotonin,
It's a game I play without ever choosing.
They tell me, "Balance takes the fight,"
But it feels like trading dark for white.
Anti-psychotics, they cage the storm,
But leave me cold, far from warm.
Give me feeling or leave me broken-
I'm terrible with serotonin.

Tell me, is this all that's left?
A borrowed calm, a muted breath?
I miss the fire, I miss the ache,
Even pain felt real, for heaven's sake.
But now I'm stranded, caught in between-
A dull machine, half-human being.

I'm terrible with serotonin,
It slips through my hands like a dream I'm losing.
They tell me, "You'll feel whole in time,"
But I'm still piecing together mine.
Anti-psychotics, they shut the door,
But my restless heart still begs for more.
Give me feeling or leave me broken-
I'm terrible with serotonin.

But I'll keep walking, step by step,
Through this haze of what's been left.
Maybe someday, I'll know the reason-
Why I'm terrible with serotonin.