Beguiler - Black Cloud Lyrics

Breathless day by day
It gets harder to exhale
Breath by breath
I feel my lungs closer to
Closer to collapse
From distrust my chest is hollow
My world is caving in
The walls are enclosing me
When I look in the mirror, and your face is staring back at me
Those last days will forever trail me
In my dreams I will be taken back
To when I watched your final breath
Leave your chest
Sick and dying
That image is most vivid
The way out it's an ugly f*cking bitch
Your life is over I've felt cold ever since
With you dead it's hard to give a shit
My privileges I honour
And that is why I'm f*cking here
Despite everything I have to aspire
I can't help ruining my own life
The drop from here to hell
Is what I'll live with
Before you start stop yourself
Save it for someone else
I know that I'm not well I gave up
I'm run down this is my burden
I don't want your f*cking help
I wouldn't want to know me I'd pick someone else
I don't know why my mind resonates with the worst of times
Everyday all I feel Is this burn
I wish I knew why it feels so good
Maybe I'm a narcissist
Maybe in your eyes I am selfish
Everyone relates to trauma
Some will understand better than others
When it cycles this is how it is
It's a black cloud, and everyday is piss
When you think it can't get any worse
Oh it happens, Oh it happens
F*ck