It's four in the morning, I'm out on the road
Driving like a maniac, trying to find the motherload
Horns are blaring, tires are screeching
Everybody's racing, when they should be sleeping
I just want a parking spot, oh, where can I park
I keep circling the lot, man it's still dark
Black Friday, oh, what a sight
People losing their minds for a deal such spite
Horns keep honking, people are mad
Fighting for a toaster, it's just so sad
Long lines everywhere, can't catch a break
I just want to go home for goodness' sake
Babies are crying, the stress is real
But I'll get that discount, I'll find the best deal
Now I'm in the store, it's all a big mess
Somebody's elbowed me, square in the chest
I find the last TV, but oh no, now there are none
A lady grabs it first, man watch that woman run
I'm waiting in line for an hour or two
A cashier is staring, looking right through
Black Friday, oh, what a sight
People losing their minds for a deal such spite
Horns keep honking, people are mad
Fighting for a toaster, it's just so sad
Long lines everywhere, can't catch a break
I just want to go home for goodness' sake
Babies are crying, the stress is real
But I'll get that discount, I'll find the best deal
And the bathroom line's out the door
I've never seen a crowd like this before
I'm squeezing my legs, I'm about to explode
But hey, how ironic, there's a sale on commodes
People are rude, but they're moving fast
For a cheap blender that will never last
I'm heading home now, because I'm feeling the strain
Maybe next year, I'll shop online, I need to abstain
Black Friday's crazy, I've had enough
But at least this year.. didn't end with handcuffs