BIG GAY - The Taste of Sadness Lyrics

I can't relax, this isn't just coffee in my cup
If you could judge a persons soul by the coffee that they drink
Mine might not be as black as you might think
It would just be riddled with alcohol because I really miss my cat
And now I want to go home, but I don't feel at home anywhere
And I feel trapped by every situation I get myself in
People tell me it's a paradox to feel simultaneously lost and trapped
But if I don't know where I'm going how the f*ck can I get out?
When all the coffee tastes like cigarettes and all the soda tastes like rum
You know you're doing something right with your alcoholism
And my mother she always told me that it's alright to cry
But she sent me to a therapist because she didn't want to know why
Therapy didn't help because I was told not to talk to strangers
So now I internalize all my problems and collect cigarette burns
Because fire is the cure to sadness
Says Federico de la Fe
And now I want to go home, but I don't feel at home anywhere
And I feel trapped by every situation I get myself in
People tell me it's a paradox to feel simultaneously lost and trapped
But if I don't know where I'm going how the f*ck can I get out?
Wouldn't it be nice, if all the ephedrine in my veins
Would make me less suicidal, maybe take away some pain
But all it really does is keep me awake during the day
I guess it also suppresses hunger, so what I'm really trying to say
Is that the taste of sadness is all I really need to live on