Bless - Breaking Lyrics

I don't mean to break
But I just need more faith
I remember it all
Nighttime when dreams should've been at my palms
Bright mind was clean but she bit off my drawls
My drink had leaned on her but she let it fall
Nice guy turned mean now it is all my fault
Every time we link I let her talk
Now she seduced how I think, she clever at it all
Knows how I think, knowing I remember it all
Like when negativity took control of my thoughts
I let her run free when I shoulda chained her claws
Kept her on a leash cuz she's a female dog
Let her bark and scream in her cage and all
Cuz that's what she did to me and I was lost
Was scared to try the Lord's peace cause I was feeling off
I'm not used to being at ease and feeling strong
I'm used to feeling creased and loosed as I recall
Couldn't fall on my knees cuz I felt unworthy to call
I don't mean to break
But I just need more faith
I can pray for forgiveness
But when I do I never feel like I'm forgiven
I guess cuz afterwards imma go back to sinning
God plz don't get tired of me I'm hypocretin
My difference ain't so different
Blame her existence
Even tho I gotta master Sindy's little kitten
Let her know I'm not her slave, have her grips overwritten
I wanna change and she knows that's why she won't let go
She been tryna make me go missing
Even tho I'm distant
From the world, tryna go far and create some distance
My emotions are claustrophobic and inconsistent
I didn't know how to let go and let the Omniscient
Make me resistant to her sinful kisses
I know I am more
Grinding for more, efficient core
Can't stomach the instant gore, a persistent whore
I love how she screams when I'm hitting her sore
Face while I spit on the floor
Just to scrape her on it more
I don't mean to break
But I just need more faith
I need more faith to keep goin
I keep on doubting but You say Your way keeps me going
Eyes on Your prizes should keep me away from the lowest
Goal and besides what I face won't come the closest
To what you have in mind
I wanna break but I'm chosen
I wanna say I give up but I'm not gonna blow it
Wrap me around the wires to make this explosion
I won't implode and she knows it, I hate promotion
But I want recognition for the time I have poured in
Music and in these lyrics
Are the words I have found to express
What is not spoken normally
And the time I can say what's in my chest
Is in chords and vocals and chorus
Cause I know I am Broken