Thinking Video (MV)

"Because you aint s*** (Dont be sayin nothing like that)
You aint s*** Esteban, I hope you go and commit suicide
Because you aint s***, you aint s*** (She dont mean nothin like that)
Because everything you say, you-you're pathetic, Esteban
Your mom didnt want you, thats why she gave you up
So I hope you go and commit suicide (You dont say nothing like that)"
Fosho
Tell me honestly, do we try get along?
Or do we end up fightin, we so tired of being wrong
Desperate, so we taking desperate measures
Just to find a bit of pleasure, cause the pressure got me stressin
I need to know, whatchu need me for?
Insecurities boostin, you used me to remove'em
Your welcome, I guess, I know I should confess
How I feel about this problem goin on in my head
Its too intense, the problem to immense
Lookin for a way to follow all my friends
But I wanna be different, a prodigy with a difference
I dont wanna be known for my past and the misses, and I know God is my witness
So Lord help me, I feel like Im alone
I just wanna settle down in a place to call my home
Just a place to call my own, cause I feel like Im the outcast
So Im praying that I outlast
Every single thing comin against me, tryna fence me in
I decide what I do, so let me live
Im just tryna make a life without the stipulations
Apocalyptic to my mind, like the Revelations
Whatchu following for?
You knockin on my door, aint gon answer, tryna come back, gave too many chances
A chance you cant deny
Im written in the stars and in the sky
Aint tryna see it with my heart, Im tryna see it wit my eyes
Cause my heart deceiving me, trust me when I say it aint no lie
I been searchin long and wide, its hidin in disguise
Pointing fingers here and there, but I shouldnt victimize
Myself, workin on my health
Tryna find a purpose, pray to God that I prevail
Spent some time in cell, spent some time with my mind
Depression callin daily, when I see it I decline
Try to block the number, but he calling from different lines
Choosin what the dream is but I really cant decide
Its like Im living with an ultimatum, go and check that out
Wrote about it, maybe it'll help me figure out
Been with this life that Ive been leadin
I know Ive been refined, but its time that I mean it
Its time that I believe in something besides myself
Im so selfish, but Im workin on it God dont give up on me just yet
Im loyal and faithful, something I aint given yet
I sit here and write these lines like I mean something to do so
When I start to gain traction they treat me like Im Kujo
But I aint they best friend, he tellin me do better
And Im stuck under the weather, thankfully I can do better
And I wished you loved me, like I wished I loved myself
Too caught up and I know that pain is weakness for my health
So sorry if it seems like there is nobody else
Sad but true, but thats the truth that I wish I'd learn to tell
Cant be the one too fall in lines, Im paving routes and changing lives
Thats what Im doing with my time
Did it with no cameras, Ima little shy, I admit it
But silent moves are major moves, so Im living with bigger limits
God can give more than any record deal, bigger digits
Back then poppin work, attempt to ease my mind
Thought that I was seeing life but now I know that I was blind
Aint tryna fight no more
I aint tryna fight no more
And I worked hard for that
Aint tryna fight no more
I aint tryna fight no more, naw
But I been thinking
But I been thinking