the boy alex - proud/disappointed Lyrics

Weight is heavy
Chest is sore
Breathing's taking more
Than it's giving I
Don't want to admit it but
I didn't really want to live with it
If I tell them will they receive it
You cried a lot I cried a little
We tried to connect
And meet in the middle
You're not disappointed but
I know you're not proud of me
It's bigger on the inside
It's quiet on the outside
If I knew then what I know now
You best believe I'd have figured out
It's not about a feeling
Pretend it isn't there
But it doesn't change
Why did I believe I'm not alright
And bring to life this death inside
But I'm alive
Danced around it
Disregarded
Don't suppress it please
Don't ignore it
Remember that nobody hates you
We only really want to cheer you on
It isn't filthy
It's authenticity
She blamed herself I said don't be silly
She wanted to connect
But needed to find a reason
I think she's disappointed
Will she ever be proud of me
It's bigger on the inside
It's quiet on the outside
If I knew then what I know now
You best believe I'd have figured out
It's not about a feeling
Pretend it isn't there
But it doesn't change
Why did I believe I'm not alright
And bring to life this death inside
And all I want
Is to be loved by somebody
Is to be held by somebody
And all I want
Is to be loved by somebody
Not to be judged by somebody
And all I want
Is to be loved by somebody
Is to be held by somebody
And all I want
Is to be loved by somebody
Not to be judged by somebody
This is living
Take it in
Confirmations are giving plenty
Don't be sorry
Don't be sad
What was left behind will be found again