Brian Is Ze - Crawl (The Repercussions of Dissociating) [Hope] Lyrics

We are who we are
When we aren't ourselves
It hurts us all
I hurt you so badly
I can't take it back
Alone I crawl

Listening to podcasts sitting on the patio
Smoking cigarettes by myself before the show
Trying to stay present
Even if it's lonely
This is how I made it
This is how it's gone be
If I can fight through feeling like this
I think that I can make it
Been so long since I felt anything at all
So dissociated
And I think
Better yet I know
I'll see another sunrise even if it's alone
And when everybody's gone I can always come home
And if they all come back I really should've known
Gotta learn to trust right along with the love
Can't let the fear be stronger than us
Gotta learn to hear when they tell me they love me
If it sounds sincere then assume that it must be

We are who we are
When we aren't ourselves
It hurts us all
I hurt you so badly
I can't take it back
Alone I crawl

Fighting panic attacks with Benadryl and cigarettes
Because I rap and I'm black I'm clearly an addict
Always had a hard time asking for help
It feels so selfish doing things for myself
Everybody loves me
Everybody cares
No matter how I am
They feel better that I'm there
It's just so hard to believe you
It's just so hard to believe you
I've been through so much all alone
I've been through so much all alone
It's no ones fault but mine you weren't there
I built up these walls with vacant stares
Left you knocking at the door
With no one home

We are who we are
When we aren't ourselves
It hurts us all
I hurt you so badly
I can't take it back
Alone I crawl

I just wanna let you know I'm back
I hope it's for good
You know I can't promise
I wish that I could
I don't like leaving anymore than you like seeing it
I'm trying to get better
I hope you can believe in it
Hope you can stay
But if you do go away
Know that I get it
And I still give thanks
Know that I'm still about to do what it takes
I'm doing this to cure way more than the heartbreak
I've been on the verge of a breakdown
Can't even look myself in the face now
Can't take the way I can't feel when I'm being given love and can't conceive it could be real
I can't live like this anymore
And no one should
And no one should
And no one should

We are who we are
When we aren't ourselves
It hurts us all
I hurt you so badly
I can't take it back
Alone I crawl