I got just enough money for a one way ticket
No bags packed just these bottles
Steady sipping
I don't even plan to leave the house
I'm staying in forever and I'm never coming out
I'm using liquor as a weapon
I'm stepping over the edge
I'm breaking every pledge
That I'd call you looking down from this ledge
I leave a message at the bottom of these empty bottles
A suicide note that says "I hope to be forgotten"
Always wishing that I never was
Hope it gets better but it never does
Holed up in my head seeing visions of me dead waiting for the end and it never comes
I keep on hoping
Our hope is not the same
Our hope is not the same
Our hope is not the same
Another one down
Another one out
Another one bottoms up
Bottles piled up
I can't apologize enough
But if I say "I love you. I'm sorry." People tense up
Nobody gets rest
Get the hence
It's all fake f*cks
And pretense
My defense is down
I down another round
And it takes along
My sense
Socialized cis
How am I supposed to exist
I've been a lot of things
Mostly an insufferable shit
Been a son, brother, and husband but never a father
With everything I've helped create why would I even bother
Everything I thought that I was doing was a lie
Everything I ruined is the truth of my life
I got just enough money for a one way ticket
No bags packed just these bottles
Steady sipping
I don't even plan to leave the house
I'm staying in forever and I'm never coming out
Kiss my scars
Keep my blood in jars
You'll never salvage all the bests parts of who we are
And that's okay
Everything ends
Just remember me from when I was still capable of being friends
I know from your perspective I changed but this was always there
I tried my best to kill it quietly to keep you unaware
I never wanted you to see or hear or feel that side of me
So all along I tried my best to sit and suffer silently
I was always honest about how bad it could get
But I broke out all the warning signs that said you should have left
Now I'm lying in this bed made of rubble
And I still can't even get you to admit I was trouble
(Pour) I pour a double (pour)
(Pour) I pour a double (Poor me)
(Pour) I pour a double sipping straight from the bottle between sips
(Pour) I pour a double
I got just enough money for a one way ticket
No bags packed just these bottles
Steady sipping
I don't even plan to leave the house
I'm staying in forever and I'm never coming out
Constantly plagued by my fraud complex
Play your position I been pissing on the false
I've been pissing off the gods
Cause I don't see em at all
I don't see that seat as a throne
I just see you sitting alone
But you want that life cause of what that's like just to get that light and be known
But if you did the work you would know
What it's like to be on top and wish to be home
Just wish you could go
Just wish you could disappear with your gear to a place in the woods with no phone
I'm on my Bon Iver
I'm on my never there
I'm on my surrounded by people but silent vacant stare
I don't care
Give a f*ck about the fallout
Been at it all alone
I don't need yall now
I don't take calls
Let it ring off the hook
Give a look at a glance
I'm f*cking killing this shit
I got just enough money for a one way ticket
No bags packed just these bottles
Steady sipping
I don't even plan to leave the house
I'm staying in forever and I'm never coming out