ByteSide Records - Larry's Final Hike Lyrics

There was a guy named Larry, thought he'd hike the hills
With a backpack full of snacks and a head full of thrills
But Larry took a step, the ground said Not today
And down he went, in the most spectacular way

Oh, he's tumbling down the mountain, bones a-breaking all around
Every thud and every crash, making such a joyful sound
He's tumbling down the mountain, it's a brutal, bloody show
Larry's learning gravity, like he never did before

First bounce, his ankle snapped, sounded like a twig
His screams echoed through the trees, oh what a sick gig
Next flip, his arm went limp, twisted like a vine
Larry's face met a rock, oh how his teeth did shine

Oh, he's tumbling down the mountain, bones a-breaking all around
Every thud and every crash, making such a joyful sound
He's tumbling down the mountain, it's a brutal, bloody show
Larry's learning gravity, like he never did before

Third slam, his ribs gave way, caving in with glee
His backpack flying open, scattering debris
Fourth hit, his spine went snap, now he's bending wrong
Larry's rolling, crying out, "How long, oh Lord, how long

Oh, he's tumbling down the mountain, bones a-breaking all around
Every thud and every crash, making such a joyful sound
He's tumbling down the mountain, it's a brutal, bloody show
Larry's learning gravity, like he never did before

By the time he reached the bottom, Larry was a wreck
A crumpled, groaning heap, nothing left to check
His hiking days were over, his wandering days done
Larry now a cautionary tale, oh wasn't that fun

Oh, he's tumbled down the mountain, bones a-broken all around
Every thud and every crash, made such a joyful sound
He's tumbled down the mountain, it was a brutal, bloody show
Larry learned his lesson, nature's not a place to go

Now Larry's in a wheelchair, sipping through a straw
Recalling his wild tumble, to the nurses in awe
He tells his tale with humor, a twisted kind of cheer
'Cause Larry's learned the hard way, to respect the cliffs and sheer

So if you're out there hiking, and you hear Larry's tale
Remember every stumble, every scream and wail
Nature's not forgiving, it's a beast you can't outrun
Or you'll end up like Larry, and trust me, that's no fun

Oh, he tumbled down the mountain, bones a-broken all around
Every thud and every crash, made such a joyful sound
He tumbled down the mountain, it was a brutal, bloody show
Larry learned his lesson, but it cost him quite the blow

Yes, he tumbled down the mountain, now he tells it with a grin
Every scar and every break, a testament to sin
He tumbled down the mountain, now he laughs and drinks his tea
Larry's fall from glory, a twisted mountain spree