Perpetual Video (MV)

I can't relax
I'm wide awake
Inescapable facts keep me from rest
This anxiety keeps me up
No sleep
It seems I need something to help me
Quit these waking dreams
All I want is peace and silence
I don't want this excitement

My insomnia's taking moments away from me
Maddening; I'm instantly stammering
You cannot prolong my sanity
I will lose myself in vanity
Because I need this mirror to remember myself
If I could quit these thoughts I would
And I know I should
Why won't they go away?
My mind is frayed as hairs turn grey

Depression is just a component
Of the things that I'm alone with
Fear and doubt in these moments
I can't take it
It's this perception
I can't shake it
What will it take to escape?
I need companionship
But there are so many fake friends
No one can manage this alone
In this torrent enveloped by torment

I'm swimming upstream to find my destiny
I'll lose shape in the face of what I meant to be
Everyone I know has changed, or so it seems
Except for me
I fell behind, even though I tried
But she implied maybe I'm just overthinking it
And maybe we're not so different
If I could make it through this
Would the future be cemented, indebted
Infected with inability
Because all I've seen and all I know
Is a memory that won't let go of me
And I don't wanna spend my life reliving
Trapped in a cycle of reminiscing
I wanna live life derivatively
Find my own path connected infinitely

Living through the moments
Going through the motions
Like it's the only thing we have left
We were promised a place in the sky
They fight and die for heaven
But I'll have my own endeavours
Go with my own pace
I'll find my own place
Through the pain and misery
Relax and exact
Leave no fear intact

I won't follow
I won't be hollow
I have ideals
Tough pill to swallow
Perhaps I'm misguided
But we're all tryna make a life through the strife in
I could be selfish and I can be stupid
And all the rules are convoluted
But in the end does it really matter
When all are lives are shattered
Moment to moment haphazard

These streets leaving us emotionally beaten and battered
Our imagery scattered
Blathering simpletons
Making us impotent
No curiosity, no inference
No ideas, we are just dividends
In a system where we all fit in
Education is a weapon and experience is a tool
Relatable problems for you to think about while you're at school
Abnormalities advantageous if you don't become
Encapsulated in misery
Don't lose yourself in the face of what you meant to be

A centapiece
Eccentric and introverted at best
My confidence is null and void
Not to be toyed with
I'm losing my grip
I'm no fool
But I'm trying my best not to slip off this stool
If I lose my cool
I'm probably just caught up in the moment