Cameron Scott Watson - Before the Door Lyrics

I was pacing back and forth before the door
Oh, I was sure it's mine, but not what it's for
I said, "knock-knock-knock, please open up"
Yeah, I spoke the words, but that's just not enough
Oh, I tried so f*cking hard to see my best and save my way
To build it all with broken parts in hope of better days
Oh, I wish that I'd understood what the world was all about
But I doubt I could have got it right
You know, without the time to let these old wounds heal
Well, oh goddamn, you'd think the things I've seen would break my f*cking faith
But that ain't the type of man I am
Yeah in my pain I found my strength
Well, I'm harder now, but far from jaded
Honestly, I'm surprised I made it this far after crawling on my belly for so long
And that ain't no mother f*cking joke - shit
I want too see the circle close
The scars blend in
La vie en rose
Well, everybody wants to see their struggle has a meaning
Well, I don't know what I believe
But, in every dark cloud there's a silver lining
And if you look real hard you might just find it
At least that's what I keep telling myself so I don't mother f*cking crack

Well, I tried to run away from myself
No luck, but can you blame a man for f*cking trying
I tried to hide away my light from the world
But not shining feels just as good as dying
So now I'm finally standing up to live the life I love
I'm set to ride this wild wave
It's like I'd been standing on the shore sick and scared of going under
Jumped in and the water's great
So I don't give a f*ck anymore
I'm off that broke down, bad mood, worried about some door shit
Like what I f*cking waste, living even just a day
Convinced I'm not on track
That I don't got what it takes
So I don't give a f*ck no more
I know what I need
I know who's there for me
I can't take this pointless suffering
It's time to cross my t's and dot my goddamn i's
Cuz I spent too long, motherf*cker
Worried about what happens once we're gone, mother f*cker
Like, do you really think that it's worth it losing sleep
Sitting up worried about if you're gonna make it through you're dreams?
So back it up
It's time to pack it up
Until my heart stops beating in my chest
I'm gonna let it bleed
I'm gonna give it what it needs
It ain't me to give it any less
One day I'm gonna have to face the sunset
But not today
No, goddamn, not yet
I'll be fighting 'til my days are done
Life ain't been easy
But, goddamn if it ain't been fun