Carolyn Dodd - Window Lyrics

Ive been the same now
Going on five years
Wont be the one who says its though
Running in circles
Cant feel my chest here
Losing the rest here

If I say its over
Then itll be my choice
But choosing whats right is the background noise
Im not like my friends now
Theyre doing better
Ill say for the better before me

Im watching it fall
What I built up
Im drowning but breathing
Theyre catching my bluff

I wanna be strong
Don't want them to see
But Im not who I was youd barely recognize me

No longer 18
No longer drowned out
Hear what they say and I wear it now

Stuck in the between
Unknown and found out
But what do I know now

They say its the right time
But whats wrong and whats right
Losing my sleep and my patience now
Dads getting older
I thought Id be closer
I promised him closure

Im watching it fall
What I built up
Im drowning but breathing
Theyre catching my bluff

I wanna be strong
Don't want them to see
But Im not who I was youd barely recognize me

Im the crack in the door
You peek out
Never seeing more than an empty street how
I was sure Im the one to beat
Now cant look at my mom is she proud of me
How
What a waste of a trace of thick skin
Used to stand out
Now I wanna fit in
Now Im begging a stranger to love me
And if they can theyll be miles up above me

Im the big mouth love to hate me
Too loud too proud an overrating
Im the slut of the town that Im painting
Just because love is all that Im craving
Don't care too much about it
How could I not when its all I have its
Just the book that the world is cowriting
And Im the page that is crossed out and hiding

Im watching it fall
What I built up
Im drowning but Im breathing
Theyre catching my bluff

I wanna be strong
Don't want them to see
But Im not who I was youd barely recognize me

Im telling the truth
Couldnt want to less
But I cant keep going thinking this isnt my mess

So tear me apart
Not much more to go

Im seeing what I want
Looking through the window