[ Featuring Arturo Cipriano, Heather Lang, Max Kumangal, Zach Hess, John Cardoza, Ezra Menas, Annelise Baker, Jane Bruce, Ken Wulf Clark, Logan Hart, Yeman Brown, Kelsey Orem, Ebony Williams, Yana Perrault, Nora Schell, Kei Tsuruharatani, Antonio Cipriano, Laurel Harris ]
An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic, don't you think?
Hold up, wait a second
That's actually not ironic
Right
If we're using irony as defined in Greek tragedy
I don't see how, like, a fly in your beverage applies
That's not irony
That's just, like, shitty
Can I please finish my piece?
Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down, he thought
"Well, isn't this nice"
And isn't it ironic, don't you think?
It's not though
It would be irony if the guy in the crash was like, an airplane mechanic
How 'bout you guys let her finish?
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
And who would've thought? It figures
Well, life has a funny way
Of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay
And everything's going right
And life has a funny way
Of helping you out
When you think everything's gone wrong
And everything blows up in your face
A traffic jam when you're already late
A "no smoking" sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's like meeting the boy of my dreams
And then meeting his
I'm not seeing anyone
And isn't it ironic, don't you think?
A little too ironic, and yeah I really do think
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
And who would've thought? It figures
Well, life has a funny way
Of sneaking up on you
Yeah, life has a funny, funny way
Of helping you out
Helping you out
