Kill Video (MV)

I'm missing seratonin so I'm seeking out some dopamine
There is nothing I'm holding but all of my excessive needs
Everything that I'm bleeding I swear I'm out for the season
I'm looking out for a reason to hold on
Listen I'm a self-righteous self-hating, deprecating hypocrite
Hold up, keep on listening
I'm a piece of shit who never holds regard for the future or the boo-hoo's that I cause
Apologies to people that I've lost
Hindsight is 20/20, I wouldn't be wasting my time if I had known the cost
I dwell on the past and all my mistakes
I never put in effort so my hopes don't have to get up
And when I finally did I got so hurt I had to give up
Real problems, problems
Feel bottom, bottom
Kill solemn, solemn
And I'm still calling, calling
Calling for some change in myself, cause I hate it all
And it's really sad 'cause I'm ignorant to what my death can cause
Mother's heartbroken, brother couldn't take it
Father put a smile on but I know that he'd be faking
I seen that man's tears when I got baptized
But now that I need some more saving do you think he would cry
I don't really know what's in store for me
My future's image seems to be distorting
Maybe it's because I belong in the dirt
I always feel the best when I am feeling the worst
Tell me how to kill the hurt