Chris Chianesi - Ugly Leather Pants Lyrics

You think you're so fashion-forward, and so do your friends
But while you dress to the nines, I always dress to the tens
If you poke the bear, babe, then you're gonna get mauled
Honestly, who dressed you today? 'Cause I am appalled

Jealous? Jealous? I hear you called me jealous. Okay. Sure
Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants? Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants
What am I jealous of? Are you f*cking kidding me? No, ma'am
Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants

Your attitude is predictable, you're so ready-to-wear
You needle like you're a seamstress. But the point is not there
I don't deal with knock-offs. Like my bags, I am real
You should've worn flats today. The lawn is eating your heels

Talk behind my back when you're the one who's off-the-rack
You call me jealous? Jealous? Jealous
Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants? Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants
What am I jealous of? Are you f*cking kidding me? No, ma'am
Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants

Just like your pants, you go below the belt.
I'd respect them more if they were made of felt
Babe, you better X, Y, Z.
Examine your zipper before you come for me
If your fly is down, then just turn around
Zip it right back up and compliment my gown
If you really wanna be my friend, don't ever wear those ugly leather pants again

Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants? Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants
What am I jealous of? Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants
Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants? Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants
What am I jealous of? Are you f*cking kidding me? No, ma'am
Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants
Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants
Jealous of what? Your ugly leather pants