When Arthur Met Tilly, or The Prince of the West End
Now, this is a story all about how
I ended up a performer in Old London town
This won't take long, just sit right there and learn how
I became one of the famous Cogney pair
In the best parts of Kent, not born but raised, in a mansion was where I spent most of my days
Riding my horses, playing the fool, educated in the finest of schools
Then my father died, and that was no good
I ended up becoming Young Lord Loverduc
And although I knew I'd be terribly bored, Mater said
Get yourself off to the House of Lords
I went to the city and took a small flat near to
The streets that held all the wonderful theatres
The smell of grease paint was wondrous and rare, and I knew right then that I belonged there
I went out with an actress, actually seven or eight, and I knew for certain I had to defy Mater
I took to the stage with my poetry silly, and there I met a Cockney sparrow named Tilly
And the rest, as they say, is history