Read all about it Superman eats Kryptonite sandwich
Read all about it Batman eats Robin
Read all about it Michael Jackson found guilty
Only one of the above is false
Read all about it Wonder Woman naked
Read all about it Arnold Schwarzenegger
Something's got to be done and that something is you
Read all about it Diane Sawyer swallows three ton barbells
Read all about it Peter Jennings finally finds a story he can't cover
Read all about it Connie Chung's fake eyelashes attack Japan
Read all about it the cast of 60 Minutes all dies at once while the world
Tries to cope with 60 Minutes 2 but can't come to grips with the younger anchors
Who don't resemble your Great Aunt Lester who would shower you with gifts
The one day a year she remembers to come to your house and see you
Read all about it newspaper ink poisons your brain
Read all about it the same news in the same place for thirty five days
Read all about it someone does something stupider than the stupidest thing
You've ever imagined to do
Read all about it it's a slow news day
So read thirty-two pages on Ted Danson's new hairdo