Now it's been a few months, but I made a decision that I regret
I hurt the ones I love and now I'm losing respect
And if I never get to justify the things in my head
You might accept my flaws, but then reject what I said
Did you listen to my words? Did you look at what I did?
Will I ever get to work it out, repenting of my sins?
I've been going through this ocean, too concerned with the wind
Always writing out my life, maybe God has got a pen
I'm addressing what I show, made a point to keep it close
Mamma always told me this was "nothing I should know"
I'm tryna stay committed to the passion I behold
But I'm fighting with myself every day for control
Man I'm thinking 'bout the future, what's to come for my life?
Will the girl I really love be the one I call my wife?
Or will it fall apart like the previous five?
Will I end up all alone with an attempted suicide?
I've been trying for the longest, maybe I can steal the rain
Cause it's flooding my mind with memories I can't erase
I don't want to have to think about the constant mistakes
I only blame my self, I only feel my shame
What if I told you I was broken from a really young age?
And they told me I should trust them, that everything was okay
That I did a few things that keep me living in pain
It's been 18 years and I don't know how to change
I haven't slept in a week, I haven't bothered to eat
I've had my brain clogged up with these emotional dreams
And now, everybody's asking me the questions I don't need
"What your plan?" "What's next?" "Do this", I can't breathe
I've been learning how to swim but I'm stuck in the flow
Held captive by my thoughts, if I bless the broken road
Tryna keep it on the low, for the sake of what I know, never fold
Been distracted for too long, take me home, yuh
Been distracted for too long, take me home
Been distracted for too long