suffering is the best apology Video (MV)

Everything hurts
Nails drilled into my bones
I only have half a brain
And I'm probably insane
I have changed, but I have not changed
I think I'm still the same
I think I'm f*cking insane
I'm angrier now, and I don't know how it got so bad
But it's not your fault
You should leave, you should leave, you should leave before it gets too bad
Jealousy, jealousy, jealousy won't leave my bed
Leave me be, leave me be, leave me be, you know what I regret
If you stay and don't go away
I'll kill myself instead
These days I hate living in my head
It's hard to get up and make my bed
I wake up with the feeling of dread and spoon-fed guilt to feel more dead
It's playing over and over again, you can smell the shame brewing in my skin
When I left I was playing pretend, hoping it was a nightmare that would suddenly end
But the nausea is digging into my skin and the pain makes me want to repent my sin
While hoping I'm never forgiven
I hope I'm never forgiven
Leave me be, leave me be, leave me be, I don't want your pity
Carefully, carefully, carefully stand beneath the committee
Waste away, waste away, waste away, I don't deserve the things that come my way
Hastily, hastily, hastily, rip off the horrid flesh that sticks to me
Memories, memories, memories are like a stain that won't break
If you stay, if you stay, if you stay, I'll make my grave and decay