Crooked Nees - bogeyman Lyrics

If only I could just look back on the days of my youth
And say that at some point I might able to see the truth

I wish that I knew whether back in the days
I felt the same or whether the memories
In my head are sodden in fear
And the feeling I bare was always in front of me
That I could be lucky then
Right before it began
Before I was all by myself and I wasn't left with the boogeyman

He's here with all these notions that haunt me
I'll never be good enough, all is in vain
I should be ashamed, that's what he told me
And all that I do, it's always so tedious
God, why does the boogey man need to be so freaking insidious

I don't recall when able to
Fall asleep without thoughts of youth

All this time it's like I wasn't meant to be
Able to daydream
Of all those lies I wrote in my memories
To play on repeat
Like I was forbidden to know
What it's like to let go

Why do I always look for the flaws in all that I do
Paralyzed by every single thing that I take to
Why can't I be glad for the things I have
Why does it all come with a sense of dread

Only this tragedy I can see with clarity
'Cause everything else is clouded
Feeling alone when it's crowded
Repelled all my friends, and tried to pretend
That it's all their fault, they've left me alone
Even though i was always invited

But at this point I am too afraid to see
What does everybody honestly think about me
"Just look at him there, what a joke of a man
Why doesn't he freaking just grow a pair"
I don't know what to say
Go ask the boogeyman

All this time it's like I wasn't meant to be
Able to daydream
Of all those lies I wrote in my memories
To play on repeat
Like I was forbidden to know
What it's like to let go