I was sitting on the toilet for some personal poopin' time
Take a little dookie on the sly on the company dime
Got my balls unglued last night
And my poop shoot's keepin' it tight
That was when I realized that something just ain't right
I looked right over to the TP holder
But what I saw was an empty roll sir
Oh crap Gotta think fast
This ass won't wipe itself
I do a handstand in the shower
I feel that ass-cleaning power
Arms getting stronger by the hour
When I need to clean my little brown flower