D Frizzle - Ready For Disaster Lyrics

"Shit, it's Frizz and his crew tripping on shrooms isn't it dude?
This is the biggest news since the Asian avian flu"
Yeah we got video cameras with us in this corny club
But we got f*cked up and kicked out, on to the corner pub
"Record a slut!" I already am with my steady-cam
Making 'em as horny as f*ck and very ready for a man
I seek a chick who's fake and getting plenty sweaty with a tan
And I'll leave that bitch shaking, wet and messy like Japan

Well I guess it just depends on Japanese opinions
Too soon? Flip a coin and let that f*cking penny spin
"What you chose?" You lose, it's never too soon so boo hoo
Film your reaction and whack it on YouTube
I'm smacking some huge dude, grabbing his slut and slapping her two boobs
Thrash 'em and mash 'em back in her boob tube
And that's a select few of my tricks, "You are the shit!"
I f*ck the poo out of chicks and get fondue on my dick

I'm getting ready for disaster to strike
So just pass me the mic and I can handle this like
An epidemic is coming, a pandemic is near
So damn let it be clear, the man Frizzle is here
And I'm getting ready for disaster to strike
So just pass me the mic and I can handle this like
An epidemic is coming, a pandemic is near
So damn let it be clear, the man Frizzle is here

Yeah you can get me a beer, a cold pint of Stella
I've been told that you're jealous of me, oh why I never
Woulda said a thing, never bring your knife to my gunfight
I'm like a comet rocking earth and blocking out the sunlight
I'm mucking up the weather system, relation to devastation
Mutation of the foundations of nations' civilizations
Be patient 'cos reformation of creation is an ancient practice
"The fact is you rap like a faggot"

With whack shit, you shoulda been in that movie Cleopatra
Elizabeth Taylor makes you look like a moldy actress
I can't quit spitting and thinking of shit to spit about
My dick is out of it's zip and it's fitting in that bitches mouth
Check this out, the teeny boppers wanna take my picture now
I'm making 'em hot and steamy, they'll flock to see me when this record's out
You wanna go and ride big Frizzy slut? Giddy up!
We f*ck and you're not gonna be able to get rid of your chlamydia

I'm getting ready for disaster to strike
So just pass me the mic and I can handle this like
An epidemic is coming, a pandemic is near
So damn let it be clear, the man Frizzle is here
And I'm getting ready for disaster to strike
So just pass me the mic and I can handle this like
An epidemic is coming, a pandemic is near
So damn let it be clear, the man Frizzle is here

"Now all of this disaster that you're referring to has been
Coming from your mind?" Ha, let me talk a little bit faster
You bastard, I've mastered fate, I won't have to pray
A chick grabs my dick, "Oh so you don't have to masturbate?"
Yeah that's the way, clever guessing, they are never resting
Make them messy bitches eat my dick like a dish of delicatessen
With dressing, confess that I'm stressed and just repressing
Half a depressive mind, "Oh my, it's a blessing in disguise"

This damn social anxiety's an emotional side of me
I suppose that I kinda see hope, joking this cider drink's
Got me thinking positive again in my brain, face it
Mainly I'm just strange but I feel crazy and deranged
"Is it multiple personality?" Brother I'm glad you get it
'Cos it's silly when one side thinks the other is schizophrenic
"He's an apathetic heretic" Apologetic? Forget it
"He's getting poetic" I said it, you're f*cking pathetic, and me...

I'm getting ready for disaster to strike
So just pass me the mic and I can handle this like
An epidemic is coming, a pandemic is near
So damn let it be clear, the man Frizzle is here
And I'm getting ready for disaster to strike
So just pass me the mic and I can handle this like
An epidemic is coming, a pandemic is near
So damn let it be clear, the man Frizzle is here