Yo, listen
No degree but I been tested
Pain in my heart that I kept in
Went from all smiles like a dentist
To an ambulance, alone with a deathwish
I was tellin jokes to the paramedic
She told me her son was a menace
I wanted to tell her to hold him tight coz it gets so cold in the trenches
I wanted to say never get so busy that all your love goes away
I wanted to say never get so far that you don't hear the songs that he makes
And all of the pain that he hides, keep asking about his day
I wanted to tell her don't leave him alone, cos I'm here and it's way too late
My heartbeat hit like a hi-hat
My kidneys dry like I fried dat
200 doses, prescription pills, how the f*ck I survive that
Not an ounce of fear in my heart
At peace, about to depart
A piece of me died that night, that starvin kid he got left in the dark
Had to leave him dead and buried, God told me he don't see cemetaries
Dunno how I could go on the run, life's barely begun, and I just wasn't ready
Disqualified, false start
Can't drive when the gear's in park
Find a way to endure the days of pain cos life is a work of art
I think I'm addicted to crashin out for the times that I got neglected
For the times they wasn't attentive, desperate
For some deeper affection
Instead, I got independent and blended, I'm a great pretender
Until I couldn't recognise that darker side that I had embedded
And I used to hate feelin so different
But tell me what's better than this
Who else' gonna hold this gift
It's in my hands I control this shit
So I'm puttin the pen to the paper
And I'm lettin the ink just dribble
Done tryna keep it simple
I'm writin my story in scribbles