Darin Browne - Funky Christian Lyrics

Well I'm a funky Christian
Now let me just tell you
About the things in life
That for the Lord I say and do

It happened one great evening
About seven years before
When I walked down the front to
Give my heart to the Lord

I said the sinner's prayer
I really couldn't foil it
But I wasn't there to give my life
I was trying to find the toilet
And the man said, "You are saved, my boy
And you may leave the floor"
And he handed me a copy of the 4 Spiritual Laws

Well I took it home and read it
But it didn't make much sense
I could understand the word BELIEVE
But the rest just seemed like French
So I joined the local Youth Group
To see what I was missing
And there I found out how I could become
A funky kind of Christian

I get up every Sunday
Somewhere around 6
And I turn the TV on to watch
The preacher's latest tricks
Then I put my neatest clothes on
And brush my teeth real clean
So when I go to church
No one can see beneath my sheen

With a King James in the left hand
Concordance in the right
I know I'm looking better
Than the way I did last night
When I put my money in the plate
I count it out aloud
And when I sing the hymns I nearly deafen half the crowd

I doze on through the sermon
Can't listen to that stuff
Before he's done the bible verse
I've really had enough
The Bible's really straight you see
I don't read and I don't listen
I don't need to study it because
I'm a funky Christian

My week gets really busy
I'm never home at night
Coz there's studies, groups and outings
And it gets kinda tight

Like on Wednesday there's this Bible study
I'm such a godly man
The study, man, well it's the pits
But the girls I like's called Pam

Friday night is youth group
I get up to me tricks
I don't really like the things they do
But I really like the chicks
And I even witness to me friends
In a way that's just my style
I don't mention Christ or God or anything
I do it with my lifestyle

Saturday night I'm raging
Can't tell you what I do
I go out with my non-Christian mates
And I don't get home 'til 2
Coz I know that any sins I do
They'll all be forgiven
So Saturday night I pile 'em up
I'm a funky Christian

I always read the Bible
But I've got lots of nouse
Cos the open Bible really hides
The latest Aussie Penthouse
I say great things like "Praise the Lord
Hallelujah and Amen"
And when I finish saying them
I say them all again

It's hard to be a Christian
When you're funky just like me
To act like a Christian all the time
And to say that you believe
Like those idiots out there driving
I pass them with a swish
I hurl abuse and throw a sign
And hope they don't see the fish

Yes I'm a funky Christian
I'm sinless every day
I'm nearly paying all my tax
And I'm certainly not gay
I know you want to be like me
Well brother, learn your lesson
If your mouth is hot but your heart is not
Then you can be a funky Christian