You always said I could stand to say less
Like you'd rather be talking to someone else
But ain't it just us to light a cigarette
Knowing it's bad for our health
I took a champagne bottle to the neck
Stumbled around acting heaven sent
My vision blurred from it
My fists were clenched
And to the thin air explaining myself
I never understood your heart attacks
But I learned them front to back
You said you'd love me til your deathbed
So why do you keep sleeping someplace else
The parts of you that make me hate myself
Are the parts of you I can't resent
Now I curse each and every failed attempt
To keep on breathing in your breath
I never pushed away when you pulled me in
Your dizzy room
It all just spins
I punch the clock, weigh the odds
Stop the earth 'cause I want off
I thin my blood, heart's bereft
Thought I died the day you left
But I did the dishes, paid the rent
And here I sit still living
Couldn't give up my ghost
So now I live with yours
An alarming lull I can't ignore
I crack my compass when I'm feeling bored
Am I just some painted whore
I bruise my skin, stones and sticks
Stop the earth, I'm feeling sick
You're a carnival stub I kept
Swear I died the day you left
But I filed taxes, called some friends
And here I sit still living
And still spinning
I never understood your heart attacks
But I learned them front to back
You said you'd love me til your deathbed
But you keep on sleeping someplace else
Why do you keep sleeping someplace else