Desantos - Sorry Lyrics

I know I
Can be a lot to handle at times
I strugle with what it means to be a man and I've
Been around too many raging alchoholics
I got angre problems too yeah
Hatred I got it
I'm ashaimed of what I am
But I guess it was a coin flip
I'm sorry I had to be a giant dissapointment
Mom, I'm sorry I was never around
I just hope one day I can make you proud

I love you mama I know I never say it
One of these days I swear to god that I 'ma make it
I want you to see that you succeeded
In the man that you were making
It has taken me some time but I know where I've been mistaken
Please forgive me no, I can't excuse how long it has taken
I know I've been a ghost very distant lately
Understand I've been pursuing purpose
Somebody wake me
I've been aching with you ma
Your heart has been breaking
When you had to leave my dad and we had nothing had to face it
Never seen someone so strong as I'm writing this I'm shakin
I regret so much if I could take shit back I'd take it
If I ever had kids I would teach them of your greatness
I'm greatly flawed yeah, you would know
If I had a ceremony tomorrow who would show
At least I didn't waste my life trapped in a cubical
At least I made a song that you can play at my funeral

It was picture perfect
I used to paint a perfect picture with potato people
Practically preparing for their future
Use your head
Don't know if you remember that
Now I got the red and black bulls jacket
With the hat to match
If this and that didn't happen
Then this and that had
I love you Nydia
You don't know the respect that I've had for you
Thank you for being there for me
For trying to guide me
If I ever end up most wanted
Blame society
Dying lights shine on me I'm losin hope in finding me
The Devil has been eyein me there ain't no use in hiding please
I just hope that this mixtape Isn't another mistake
Some days I fantasize about being found with my wrists slate
I think God made me look white on purpose
So my people would exclude me and let me reach the surface
Away from gang shit and violence, gun shots and sirens
Dumb shit I was exposed to that opened my eyelids