Hear the trumpets blaring and come bow before the king
Witness something scary and astounding sort of things
Roll out your holy rugs, kneel and face the east to pray
To the only villager able to slay the beast today
The nose of a black bear for smelling scents and travesties
The full embodiment of intelligence and majesty
I always travel with an escort of armed guards
I romance all the local princesses and charm bards
High-tension meetings for negotiations with
Kingdoms with which I have a morose relationship
Apply the pressure and handle it like a man
Send a thousand troops to war at a word of my command
Mic in hand, addressing the townsfolk, always see me in
The finest silk robes rubbing elbows with the plebians
Ceremonial sword adorned in jewels
Disobey an order, get yourself scorned and tooled
My wife is the queen and my dog is the greyhound
I sit on a throne, on my head sits a crown
Horse drawn carriage, magic mirror and incense
My son is the prince and my daughters the princess
My childhood and training are the stuff of fables
I always hold the seat at the head of the table
You ain't 1even gotta say the name, its respect I command
Man You already know who the f*ck I am
Responsible for all the stakes surrounding the mission
Command the navy and the cavalrys mounted division
Chambers made of gold and lighted by candelabras
Symphony plays Camille saint-saens danse macabre
The latest virtuosi playing concerts in my opera hall
Trebuchet and bow & arrow mounted men atop the wall
Decisions for the benefit of my ilk and vices
Conquer all of India for the silk and spices
My own private reserve of alchemists and sorcerers
Medicine from the orient and sauces in from worchestershire
Frugality borderlining on the cusp of greed
William shakespear writes plays just for me
A romance with the king is that of a whirlwind
Private box at the globe for all of my girlfriends
Solid gold adorns my earlobes and teeth
Pull-up riding side-saddle on my noble steed
My wife is the queen and my dog is the greyhound
I sit on a throne, on my head sits a crown
Horse drawn carriage, magic mirror and incense
My son is the prince and my daughters the princess
My childhood and training are the stuff of fables
I always hold the seat at the head of the table
You ain't 1even gotta say the name, its respect I command
Man You already know who the f*ck I am
My ballrooms bumping so often the floor is worn through
I never eat a dinner with less than four spoons
Six botanical gardens for Sunday walkthroughs
I'm the only one the high priest is willing to talk to
I rule for multiple ages, bribes and scepters
Court conductors, sages, scribes, and jesters
Traitors hang dangling at the end of a rope
The enemy of every evil and I'm friends with the pope
Extensive library of documents on my lineage
Construction crews erect monuments in my image
Playing Bridge and cribbage with my cabinet of advisors
Show up to the carnival just to win all the prizes
Leave a line of heirs that numbers seven or more
Along with superfluous tall tales, legends, and lore
And a trail of blood and broken bones when I cry
And a broadsword stuck inside a stone when I die
My wife is the queen and my dog is the greyhound
I sit on a throne, on my head sits a crown
Horse drawn carriage, magic mirror and incense
My son is the prince and my daughters the princess
My childhood and training are the stuff of fables
I always hold the seat at the head of the table
You ain't 1even gotta say the name, its respect I command
Man You already know who the f*ck I am