Don McCollom - Stirring the Pot Lyrics

Old Darwin had it backwards
We're devolving every day
Old Nessy and the Bigfoot
Will come outside and play

The monsters in the basement
Will scare us everywhere
The aliens abduct us
And probe our derrière

I've learned so much in this life
It leaked outside my head
I forgot what I'm saying
My brain is feeling dead

Theres vampires in the closet
And werewolves in the yard
There's peanuts in our ice cream
And bacon full of lard

Old Darwin had the answers
We are primordial stew
Religion loves our pocketbooks
And tapping our wazoos

I drink so much damn whiskey
My a1c has soared
It's up above the stratosphere
It's hanging with the lord

History books have taught us
We really haven't changed
Our failures keep repeating
Our leaders are deranged

Old Einstein said a telescope
Could see the back of our head
And jethro from the clampetts
Never listened to old Jed

It seems so damn unlikely
That we will ever learn
Our flat earth here is spinning
Armageddon will be our turn

Old Darwin had the answers
We are primordial stew
Batman was much better
In spandex under roos

A virus or a button
Will seal our silly fate
Or god will just erase us
And clean the freaking slate

Work smarter not harder
Will put us out of work
Cram more in a jetliner
Will crash it in the dirt

Ghosts continue bleating
Messing with our minds
Voodo dolls and witches
And other spooky kinds

The devils in the details
And we will never learn
Old Darwin had it backwards
We're devolving to a germ

Old Darwin had the answers
We are primordial stew
Shakira's a good dancer
I like her fancy shoes

Yeah, that's what I was starring at