An ibis colony was today unceremoniously removed from this mortal coil
After a Space X rocket combusted over Shortland Wetland
Allegedly
My therapist says that I have treatment resistant depression
This means that the SSRI and mood stabiliser
That I pay $50 a fortnight to take doesn't work
My therapist decided that I need to go outside more
Oh no
Nowra's unemployment rate finally hit 100% today
After the grand opening of Australia's first Amazon Fresh
Allegedly
Ugh
I'm booked in to get a colonoscopy
Because I have abdominal pain
My booking is already overdue
And I have waited a year to be penetrated
To see if I have a diseased little poo-poo hole
Today, the New South Wales police raided a Newcastle area townhouse
Seizing recording equipment and computers
Under suspicion of anti-social activities
I don't have a disease or nothing
But sometimes my balls hurt
This is called epididymitis
Some people have persistent ball pains that don't have a clinical cause
This is called chronic epididymitis
The three individuals accused
Collectively known as the Edge Street Boyz
Accept the claim that they are gronks, but deny all wrong doing
The group have since released a statement
Yeah look
It's been real cunts
But we're going off world