Tiana Video (MV)

Dear Mom
Wish I was a better son
But we both got shity cards from day one
You with your health and my with my father john
I didn't want this to be a sad song
But you understand where i'm coming from
Mom i miss you so much
It's like a f*cking crutch
It's like im a henchman
But actually i'm a frenchman
Like a henchman
It's like a coming of age
And now paige is dating saige
I write these words on a page
Hoping to lay em on stage
Like rage in cage
Paid minimum wage
I know you hate John
But consider him a pawn
On the front lawn
Of life
Now he's got a new wife
Three new children
So I gotta be buildin'
Some trust with him
So I can meet my two brothers and my sister
Emotional blister
From you being gone
From the day you died
Riley went to hide
Even if he lied
You would always take his side over mine
And its intertwined but it's fine
To ride the fine line
He was your oldest son
Felt like he was your favourite son
But I can't blame you none
I was a shitty son
But now I got nowhere to run
And glad you're the one
I came from
From being a baby
Then acting like a big baby
But, I wish riley would realize
That our mother would want him to be a better brother
But I'll talk about that one time or another
The goddamn horror
Of being only thirty fo'ur
And being found lifeless on the flo'or
I know your looking down proud
But as I think aloud
I know I'm allowed
To feel a bit pissed
That you can't witness
You're two boys achieve greatness
Or see Des at christmas
Why couldn't you save yourself
All the pills on your shelf
Contributed to your shitty health
I just tell myself
Luke you can't blame yourself
But Mom!
You left me without a mom
Your always in my heart
But it f*cking tears my apart
That you can't be a part
Of my f*cking future
If I have children
They grow up with a grandma
Or a grandpa
I demand a sign Ma
So many f*cking people loved you and you didn't know it
Maybe we did not show it
In a good enough fashion
All these emotions are just crashing in my head
And when i'm crashing in my bed
I wish it was my instead
I had so many things to say
So I stuck them in a verse to lay
And now I'm sayin' t'em today
I put all this anguish on the english language
Because I can't manage
All these feelings to my advantage so instead I reimagine
I planted lilies for you, and now each year they grow
So it will always show
The beautiful flower
That was at Rye's wedding shower
All of your internal power Moved to us
So you give us
Enough strength to lift a bus
You were like a fine wine
Getting better over time
And your beauty would shine
Through the room
You didn't like wine
I know
But to each their own
Right
Ma its funny
I still have that stuffed bunny
You bought with your own money
It was meant for charlie
But that lab was like marlee
'Cus she had no interest in it, hardly
I'm thinking of patching him up
Before the garbage snatches him up
Elijah died at 18 mom
So now you're reunited with um
On day me and rye will join you in the sky
Chris and lynda too god we miss you
It's true
It'll go by slow
Cause I got years to go
Before i'm at the end of the road
When i'm feeling low
Your my ray of hope
And I hope
This message reaches you
So if it does reach
Rest in peace
And please know
That I always have
And always will
Love you to the bottom of my f*cking heart