E-Manual Zi - Note 1: Somnia Lyrics

Well, there he goes, talkin' about what's in his head again
Someone shut him the f*ck up with a fistful of mortal medicine
But treat him delicate, he doesn't know what etiquette is
Pay no mind to what he says, that shit's irrelevant
When did other people decide to speculate?
Like they innately know who I am n' say I should learn to integrate
Aspirate to be the counterweight to assassinate
The very mind state that got me here in the first place
Try takin' these eyes for just 5 seconds
Take a step out the door n' tell me you don't feel threatened
I reckon it wouldn't be at all what you're expectin'
But you're on the unaffected side of this mental death sentance
Imagine, wakin' up every day
Afraid of what's gonna change around the corner
Then call me insane (?)
It scares me to think one day, I won't remember
My kid's faces 'cause daddy's mind went n' snapped beyond measure

I know I'm sick, I know I'm vile
But I swear on this Jackal's grave that I'll
Become the Black Wolf I was raised by
Shape my fate outta the pain to cloud nine
This is my note to every ghost
My kids, my folks, my brothers, the ones I hold close
No foe can bring me down when they're around
And in due time I hope that I came make em' proud

I try to treasure each moment I get preciously
They say I'm desperate, keep tryin'
F*ck you, I'm tryin' desperately
No amount of therapy or years of psychiatric prescriptions could take away the vividness of these visions
My decisions hingin' on millions of different conditions
Apparitions whisper I gotta choose with pinpoint precision
Can't let em' see I'm slippin'
My two kids are my only reason for existin'
Even to them, I'm distant
Don't want them to see the cataclysmic warefare
Can't leave the past behind me 'cause my soul is on hold there
Every day movin' forward feels like I'm runnin' outta air
It's hard to care about the present when I'm constantly Elsewhere
Tempe n' Isaq, I love you both so much
I know it's hard to understand why your dad's a little nuts
I'm sorry I always feel like I'm not enough
So I'm out of touch, makin' it rough for you to believe
I do it outta love

I know I'm sick, I know I'm vile
But I swear on this Jackal's grave that I'll
Become the Black Wolf I was raised by
Shape my fate outta the pain to cloud nine
This is my note to every ghost
My kids, my folks, my brothers, the ones I hold close
No foe can bring me down when they're around
And in due time I hope that I came make em' proud