Headlights Video (MV)

Mom, I know I let you down
And though you say the days are happy
Why is the power off and I'm f*cked up?
And mom, I know he's not around
But don't you place the blame on me
As you pour yourself another drink, yeah

I guess we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
Maybe we took this too far

I went in headfirst, never thinkin' about who what I said hurt
In what verse, my mom probably got it the worst
The brunt of it, but as stubborn as we are, did I take it too far?
'Cleaning Out My Closet' and all them other songs
But regardless I don't hate you 'cause, ma
You're still beautiful to me, 'cause you're my mom
Though far be it from you to be calm
Our house was Vietnam, Desert Storm
And both of us put together can form an atomic bomb
Equivalent to chemical warfare
And forever we can drag this on and on
But agree to disagree
That gift from me up under the Christmas tree don't mean shit to me
You're kicking me out? It's fifteen degrees
And it's Christmas Eve, "Little prick, just leave"
Ma, let me grab my f*cking coat
Anything to have each other's goats
Why we always at each others throats?
Especially when dad, he f*cked us both
We're in the same f*cking boat
You'd think that'd make us close (nope)
Further away it drove us, but together headlights shine
And car full of belongings, still got a ways to go
Back to grandma's house, it's straight up the road
And I was the man of the house, the oldest
So my shoulders carried the weight of the load
Then Nate got taken away by the state at eight years old
And that's when I realized you were sick and it wasn't fixable or changeable
And to this day we remained estranged, and I hate it though, but

I guess we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
Maybe we took this too far

'Cause to this day we remain estranged, and I hate it though
'Cause you ain't even get to witness your grandbabies grow
But I'm sorry, mama, for 'Cleaning Out My Closet', at the time I was angry
Rightfully? Maybe so, never meant that far to take it though
'Cause now I know it's not your fault, and I'm not making jokes
That song I no longer play at shows and I cringe every time it's on the radio
And I think of Nathan being placed in a home
And all the medicine you fed us
And how I just wanted you to taste your own, but
Now the medications taken over and your mental states deterioratin' slow
And I'm way too old to cry, that shit's painful though
But, ma, I forgive you, so does Nathan, yo
All you did, all you said, you did your best to raise us both
Foster care, that cross you bare, few may be as heavy as yours
But I love you Debbie Mathers, oh, what a tangled web we have 'cause
One thing I never asked was where the f*ck my deadbeat dad was
F*ck it, I guess he had trouble keepin' up with every address
But I'da flipped every mattress, every rock and desert cactus
Owned a collection of maps, and followed my kids to the edge of the atlas
Someone ever moved them from me
That you coulda bet your asses
If I had to come down the chimney dressed as Santa, kidnap 'em
And although one has only met their grandma once
You pulled up in our drive one night as we were leaving to get some hamburgers
Me, her and Nate, we introduced you, hugged you
And as you left I had this overwhelming sadness come over me
As we pulled off to go our separate paths and
I saw your headlights as I looked back
And I'm mad I didn't get the chance to
Thank you for being my mom and my dad
So, mom, please accept this as a tribute, I wrote this on the jet
I guess I had to get this off my chest
I hope I get the chance to lay it 'fore I'm dead
The stewardess said to fasten my seatbelt, I guess we're crashin'
So if I'm not dreaming
I hope you get this message that I will always love you from afar
'Cause you're my mom

I guess we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
Maybe we took this too far

I want a new life (start over)
One without a cause (clean slate)
So I'm coming home tonight (yeah)
Well, no matter what the cost
And if the plane goes down
Or if the crew can't wake me up
Well, just know that I'm alright
I was not afraid to die
Oh, even if there's songs to sing
Well, my children will carry me
Just know that I'm alright
I was not afraid to die
Because I put my faith in my little girls
So I'll never say goodbye cruel world
Just know that I'm alright
I am not afraid to die

I guess we are who we are
Headlights shining in the dark night, I drive on
Maybe we took this too far
I want a new life