Parts inside
Rattled my mind
Parts inside
Made me lose time
I didn't know
Where I was
Because of times
I was being overpowered
My sensory systems
Shutdown a little bit
To save me
From the pain
So I wouldn't go into
A seismic shift
It tried to stabilize
By controlling the
Overload on my system
Parts of myself
Split off and shutdown
To save themselves
Now I'm confused
Sometimes
I get lost
I feel like I'm being used
Just like when I was little
And got abused
I'm confused a little bit
There's this overpowering sensation
And reaction
To the time and place
And certain people
That remind me of that state
It's so scary sometimes
But I really want to be with you
To feel safe
And to explore
It's not a race
To get through this life
You might as well relax
And enjoy the ride
But when I get overwhelmed
I lose my ground
My identity is confusing
And I don't know how to
Find a way
Back to a more comfortable place
Of living
Where I am grounded
It's not unfounded
All the stuff I remember
And the fears
That I take with me
Everyday out into the world
Through my eyes
I can see the similarities
Between you and me
But the fear is still there
Do you even care
I think you do
But Well Anyway
It makes me feel a little blue
Because I'm so unsure of it
The love you share with me
Is it for real
Or just a mask a trick
To cause another attack
To disarm me
For another attack
On my body and mind
I can't handle it anymore
But maybe I'm stronger
Than I think
I'm still here after all
And I'm still trying to fight
Although I don't judge
Those that are lost
And that have lost their way
Just like me
And can't see the way through
Because I'm like that
With you
So unsure and afraid
But I'm not willing to cave
And give up quite yet
There's still more for me
And I feel it
Is this a test
Or just the natural
Inflection points in my life
I'll just keep going forward
In light
And love
I'll find it