(I will always be the lonely one)
The old adage goes that you only accept toxic people in your life
To get the self-righteous feeling of helping someone less fortunate
And for years I felt like I was one of these noble men
Saving others from drowning in a sea of ignorance and fake fix me ups
But as time has worn down my young naïve mind I realize that I've always been the toxic one
I've done nothing more than step on the heads of those trying to float around me
I've sacrificed others in an attempt to prolong this misery that is my lack of knowledge to my own disease
So the question becomes
Do I deserve to suffer in the exact parallel that I put countless others through
Do I get that luxury of death
Or will irony always be
How it's been to me
It gives me my hopes and dreams
But wrapped in blood-soaked memories
I look back on my earlier years and laugh now at one of my many reoccurring dreams
I would wake up in a cold sweat screaming crying gripping my throat
Gasping for air because that drowning sensation was so real
(It was so real)
And what's humorous now is I can't tell if they were actually dreams
Or just my subconscious trying to get through to me on what I was starting to become
Almost as a foreshadowing on how I would make others feel
And the false trials I'd put them through even though they never deserved it
They never deserved it
So the questions becomes
Do I deserve to suffer in the exact parallel that I put countless other's through
Do I get that luxury of death
Or will irony always be
How it's been to me
(Been to me)
It gives me my hopes and dreams
But wrapped in blood-soaked memories
(Blood-soaked memories)
Or will irony always be
How it's been to me
(Been to me)
It gives me my hopes and dreams
But wrapped in blood-soaked memories
The past haunts me
I give in slowly
I guess it's better than
This life's uncertainty
The past haunts me
I give in slowly
I guess it's better than
This life's uncertainty
Or will irony always be
(The past haunts me)
How it's been to me
(I give in slowly)
It gives me my hopes and dreams
(I guess it's better than)
But wrapped in blood-soaked memories
(This life's uncertainty)