The Existential Dreadniks - If You Try to Hold My Hand I'll Slug You Lyrics

Are y'all having a good time
I would hate to be accused of taking part in a rumble
Don't call me, your sweet baboo
Who did you think you're talking to

I'm sitting here with freezing feet
Cheated out of tricks or treats
I want what's coming to me
I only want my fair share

I came out here with open eyes
You did so much to proselytize
I thought perhaps your deal was true
Your God is fake
And so are you

My brother came home with a bag of rocks
You better know how to duck

At first I was, oh boy, oh boy
You smashed my faith
You stole my joy

Cheated out
Of tricks or treats
A woman scorned
Hellfire heat
You owe me restitution
You owe me restitution

You owe me restitution
You thought girls were innocent and trusting
Welcome to the 21st century, you blockhead

You said your god
Comes once a year
To the patch
That's most sincere
You said he'd rise
Tall and regal
I saw him rise
IT WAS A BEAGLE
IT WAS A BEAGLE

I could have had candy apples and gum and cookies and money and dolly madison treats! I was a fool! I WAS A FOOL