Tried to leave my demons where my mind at
Just to drop them off, and tell em I'll be right back
My poppa still call me when he drunk
Just to tell me that he sorry
I've been feeling kinda stuck
And I've been tryna tell this story
See, I know he mean it
But there's a place for people like him
He can't redeem it
After doing all he did, he knows I seen it
I've tried to block him, but he always find a new number
He always finds a way
And I've been taking all these drugs just to get my feelings numer
I just wanna fade away
To a place, where nobody remembers me
I wish I could I erase all this pain from my memory
So much sadness, that it gets to the point where I loose my sensory
Friends leave, bitches leave, everybody leave
This shit ain't new to me
Always get back up, when life beats me brutally
But I'm bound to fall right back down, usually
I guess it's all a balance
I'm just crying over people's absence
I learned to drink my pain away from my poppa
Always saw him take his demons out on my momma
And I ain't seen him since I was in pajamas
I've done seen some shit, that I'd rather not tell
Never hit me when they got it all, so I gotta change my cell
I still feel all this pain in my heart, well
I already know, how this shit go
I done felt it all, man my heart so broke
It's always been like this, since way back then
Can you please stay away, don't want pain again
I'm better off when I'm all alone
So why the f*ck would I need you?
It like really helps with my growth, cause nobody bugging me, it's just me
But that's just me
Today I turn 20 years old
The world taught me to never trust a soul
In my years of living I've learned that being alone helps you grow
I've begged for love, I've begged for people to stay
But all that shit changes today
I try not to put any stress on myself, i take this day by day
All though I've been back stabbed so many times
My heart is still big
And I ask myself why fig, why?
I'm like a child, I easily forgive
Any grudge, any bad history I have with anyone, I let that shit go
To all the people who aren't in my life anymore
Love y'all and miss y'all, but I'm better off alone